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Amazing Tolkien Teachings that Transform

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Happy Birthday, Professor Tolkien

Today is the birthday of JRR Tolkien, one of the significant influences on my life. I wrote a blog a few years back, but I have learned much more since then about this great author, father, Catholic, and teacher.  I am reading The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien and recently finished Tolkien’s Faith, bringing new insights about my favorite author.

I saw the movie Tolkien a few years back and highly recommend it to everyone! The film documented the fundamental moments of Tolkien’s formation behind his masterpieces The Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion. As I relived his early life through early adulthood, I thought about how much Tolkien and his works were instrumental in my own growth. Here are the eight key moments when Tolkien’s works formed and changed me.

My First Book Purchase – LOTR by JRR Tolkien.

The first book I bought with my own money (you can read about how I earned that money here: A Penny A Minute) was the Lord of the Rings box set.  I have posted a picture of the Two Towers to show you how much value I got for the few dollars I spent. 

Two Towers on Tolkien

I remember buying them like yesterday at Quakerbridge Mall and using the money I earned from my first job.  Racing home, I put my name on the cover in case someone tried to take it, and devoured the books like I did the Quarter Pounder that I had bought with the remaining change.

 I have now read those same books with pages falling out at least once a year.  The first time I read them all in a weekend.   I remember cowering in the bed as I read about the Black Riders for the first time and adding Frodo and Sam to my evening prayers.

Bonding with My Best Friend Over Tolkien

My best friend from elementary through middle school was Paul. He loved the Lord of the Rings as much as or more than me, and we discussed it endlessly. Paul also introduced me to the Lord of the Rings allusions in Led Zeppelin songs, such as Misty Mountain Hop and some Galadriel references in Stairway to Heaven. 

He also had pictures from the Lord of the Rings calendars decorating his room.  We parted ways in high school as our lives took different turns (The Road Goes Ever On!).  But I will never forget the joy I had in discussing the latest calendar and references to LOTR by Led Zeppelin!

Love of Family

My Dad was a Steelworker, a no-nonsense Blue-Collar man.  He did not care for fantasy, elves, or hobbits.  In contrast, I was like Frasier to my Dad’s Marty Crane.  

Throughout 1978, I looked for every news item on Ralph Bashki’s upcoming rendition of The Lord of the Rings. My dad got tickets for the opening day for the whole family because he knew how much I loved it. He also got me the LP soundtrack for Christmas. 

The movie was not good, but my whole family sat through it.  They sat through it and tried to cheer me up, as I was disappointed.   I never felt more loved since my family showed kindness and support for something I cared about.

My Senior High School Thesis on Tolkien

 I love to write and get as much joy from it as I do from reading LOTR. I feel exhilarated after writing each of my blogs, and unlike most, I love writing essays for school. 

My senior thesis for High School was one of my favorites – Christ Imagery in the Lord of the Rings!  I learned so much from studying this subject. 

Unlike Lewis, who is allegorical in the Narnia series, Tolkien is more subtle but profound.  Frodo, Aragorn, and Gandalf all represent elements of Christ.  Frodo is the clearest as he carries the heavy burden to Mount Doom.  Aragorn, as a disguised king, leads to a new kingdom.  Gandalf is perhaps the least subtle as he arises from the dead in white after battling the Balrog. 

Tolkien did not like allegory, but he understood the fundamental truth that our highest calling is to sacrifice.  I still remember the exhilaration of getting an A on the paper, but more so the feeling that the LOTR revealed a more profound truth!  I have learned from reading Tolkien’s Faith by Holly Ordway that Tolkien’s faith infused everything he did.

Falling for the Fellowship

I waited 23 years for the next movie version of The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring. My wife and I had four kids waiting for its arrival! 

My oldest daughter Kate was old enough to stay up late to catch the movie with me on the first day. It came out the day before I had to lead an Oral presentation for the biggest deal in my career. Nevertheless, I got the only two last tickets available for the midnight showing on the first day. 

My daughter and I waited anxiously in the last two seats behind a bar that partially obstructed my view.  I was praying that it would not be like the earlier movie.  I will not lie to you.  When the Shire and Gandalf scene came on the screen, I wept tears of joy. 

Peter Jackson had captured the essence of the books that defined my life: the decency of the Hobbits, the goodness of Gandalf, and the evil of the Dark Riders, which used to shake me in my bed so many years ago. 

This will sound like the ultimate geek, but I count that first viewing of the Fellowship as one of the top 10 moments in my life. (By the way, it inspired me to win the most important job of my career the next day!).

Dancing in the Glade

I thought nothing would match the scene of the Shire, but a scene from the Tolkien movie did it.  My favorite story from Tolkien is not LOTR but one chapter from the Silmarillion – Of “Beren and Luthien.”  I love it for three reasons. 

It examines the love between people of two cultures (Elves and Man). Beren and Luthien fight against all odds to defeat evil. Last and most important, it shows the never-ending love between a man and his wife. 

Grave of Edith and JRR Tolkien - Beren and Luthien

For the uninitiated, Beren and Luthien Tinuviel represent J.R.R. Tolkien and his wife Edith.  They were married for over 50 years.  Edith was Tolkien’s muse and the anchor to his life.  The image took my breath away as I sat beside my wife of 38+ years and thought of her in that glade.   In the movie, they show Edith dancing in the woods in England, the image Tolkien explains in his poem below. 

“The leaves were long, the grass was green,
The hemlock-umbels tall and fair,
And in the glade, a light was seen.
Of stars in shadow shimmering.
Tinuviel was dancing there.
To the music of a pipe unseen,
And the light of stars was in her hair,
And in her raiment glimmering.” (Read more here – https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/luthien).

Faith Lessons from Tolkien and St John Henry Newman

 I knew Tolkien was a Catholic like me, but I realized further connections after reading Tolkien’s Faith.  Tolkien’s mother took JRR and his brother Hillary to England.  After her husband’s passing, his mother became Catholic in the Birmingham Oratory, where St. John Henry Newman resided.  More than that, Father Francis Morgan, an aide of the Saint, was JRR Tolkien’s guardian when his mother passed.

This connection deeply moved me since the prayers and writings of St. John Henry Newman have been crucial to my faith formation.  I discovered his prayers on a pilgrimage when we said one of his prayers each night during our return on our bus.   

Written Words of a Loving Father.

I am now reading The Letters of JRR Tolkien, which contains 500 pages of Tolkien’s letters. The letters give insight into his books, college life, relationship with Inklings, and, most importantly, family.  

Professor Tolkien’s most touching and instructive letters were to his son Christopher during WW II. To keep Cristopher’s spirits up, he shared his WW I experience.  He also discussed the Lord of the Rings and had Christopher edit and develop maps for the book.  He also wrote letters before WW I to his wife.  His final letter before his passing was to his daughter Priscilla about his arrival at a friend’s house.  In all, we see how Tolkien loved and instructed his family.

Eight events that shaped a life!  Thank you, J.R.R. Tolkien and the makers of this film, for making this film that explains the life of this man who shaped me and so many others!

Five New Year Weight Loss Tips

Don Grier

Happy New Year!   I have culled through my content on the Wellness Leadership blog, podcast, and this blog to find the five best tips for those starting a weight loss journey.  Hopefully, these tips will lead you to a healthier, happier New Year.

Visualize Your Why for the New Year

The first thing this New Year is to define your purpose.  Each morning, wake up with a “why” in your heart and head, sometimes two!  What is a “why”?  A “why” is the motivation for taking on something difficult and the purpose for doing so.  A why drives you forward even when you can’t go on.  Why’s are imperative to change a bad habit or get out of a rut.

It is important to have a visual representation of the outcome you want to obtain. This representation will remind you why you are making the change and help keep you motivated when times get tough. One way to do that is to create a Vision Board, a series of pictures and text snippets that visualize your goal. 

Below is the visual representation of my first “why” that I created at WW on the Hay House Vision Board app (located here: Hay House Vision Board).  As represented in this Vision Board, I wanted to lose weight, look decent for my reunion, and get healthy in memory of my parents.

New Year weight loss Vision Board
Make A Vision Board

You can take concrete steps daily this new year to wake up with your why. I accomplish this through journaling and meditation. I use the Gratitude Journal (located here ) to help prompt me to realize my why. 

So, do not wander and wallow in the unknown this New Year.  Instead, visualize your why and build a better future for yourself and others! To read more about developing your why, read this blog.

Put One Foot in Front of the Other this New Year

On January 2nd, you see the same thing in gyms worldwide each New Year. Membership jumps as everyone tries to lose the pounds they put on over the holidays. The February phenomenon follows that as gym attendance takes a significant nosedive.

Often, people who join the gym and leave early in the new year start too fast out of the gate. They decide to try to sprint instead of walk and injure themselves.  

Others failed to take the second step after joining the gym.  Perhaps they were too self-conscious about their appearance in their exercise clothes or afraid to ask for help on the weight machines.   Either way, they did not follow the cardinal rule when starting.  You need to put one foot in front of the other. 

I have experienced the need to take it slow but still go. Weighing over 350 pounds when I started ten New Years ago, I could not walk far because of my joints, so I did low-impact water aerobics. I then progressed over time to the elliptical trainer. By the journey’s end, I was doing four hours of Spinning nonstop or walking 50 miles in one day. Remember, start with baby steps and then progress.

So, like the Winter Warlock in that old holiday favorite – Santa Claus is Coming to Town, just put one foot in front of the other, and you will soon hit your wellness goal. To learn more about this topic, read this blog.

Be Consistent Like Army Football

Army football had a great year, except for that one loss to Navy.   The key to their success is the same key to a positive weight loss journey: consistency! 

The Army football team does not have many plays, but what they do have is run consistently. Each player knows exactly where to block in their Flexbone Triple Option set. This scheme is run only at the Service Academies and requires discipline and consistency. Due to the smaller size of the players, each player needs to execute flawlessly. 

This consistency also served me well, as I lost over 170 lbs! I did not have a lot of plays in my weight loss arsenal, but I consistently did what I did have (tracking points, walking, mindfulness). Each day, I tracked my food, walked a mile, and meditated for at least 10 minutes. Much like the Army team pounds the football down the field, I pounded away the pounds with consistent execution!

To learn other rules of wellness from Army Football, read this blog.

THINK Before You Speak in the New Year

We all know the adage: Think before you speak.   However, take it a step further and follow the acronym THINK this New Year.  

  1. T – Is It Truthful? Here is one of the thoughts that ran through my head when I was 358 lbs.  “I do not have any willpower, and I am too tired to break out of this rut!”  That statement was not truthful, and on second thought, I realized it.  I had jumped out of planes at Airborne school and passed the strict discipline of the black hats.  I had the willpower, so it was not a truthful statement.  If you focus on falsehood instead of the truth, you attack yourself, others, and the wrong problem.
  2. H – Is it Helpful? Do not dwell on the mistakes of the past.  It is not helpful to dwell on the Quarter Pounder you ate.  Instead, it is beneficial to think about what triggered the momentary lapse and plan how you will do better.
  3. I—Is it Inspiring? I cannot tell you how much reading inspiring books and quotes has changed and fashioned my inner dialogue. Don’t preach to the choir; Be Inspired when you communicate to yourself and others!
  4. N—Is it Needed? Too many random, negative thoughts clutter our inner and outer dialogue.  Do not cloud your thoughts with unneeded worries or fears; focus on what’s now and needed!
  5. K – Is it Kind? This is the most critical part of the acronym: Be conspicuously kind to yourself and others.  A kind act to yourself will allow you to drive to improved health when you have a momentary setback.  Being kind to others will have a double whammy.  It will bring you joy and lower stress. 

Stop The Negative Talk, Take a Walk, and Be Thankful.

Some say the key to health is reducing calories, while others say exercise is the key. Both are important, but controlling negative thoughts is the key to weight loss. A positive outlook and a can-do attitude work wonders on your body and soul. 

When striving to get well and be a better leader, you should first stop the negative talk. You must replace “can’t do” with “can do.” 

Also, you need to stop the practice of “worst casting.”  The racing voice inside your head blows the simplest setback into a full-fledged downward spiral. The best way to stop the negative talk is to take a walk.

When your mind is racing, and you’re feeling stressed, don’t reach for a Whataburger – take a walk!  Preferably outside.  It will do three things for you. 

First, it will relieve stress and calm you down.  Especially if you are out in nature, hearing birds singing and smelling the flowers. 

Second, it will allow you to catch up with your thoughts and combine them coherently. One thing that helps with this second one is listening to a relevant audiobook. I cannot tell you how often I solved the latest problem or came up with a blog story by listening to a book.

The last rule is to focus on thankfulness instead of worry and anxiety.  No matter the difficulty of the situation, you can be thankful for the learning experience.  To read more on this topic, check out this blog.

A New Year, A New You

Hopefully, these five tips will help you improve your wellness this New Year. 

7 Essential Books for Wellness and Personal Growth

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My Wellness blog today is a little bit different. I will discuss the importance of reading, writing, and arithmetic in keeping healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Reading

I am and have always been a voracious reader. I read everything from science fiction to poetry, historical fiction, wellness books, and the latest David Baldacci book. Reading has been key to my Wellness journey for two reasons.

First, audiobooks have helped entertain me as I worked out. It is called learning while burning.  I walked 10 miles while listening to Malcolm Gladwell’s Talking to Strangers. I was so enthralled with the book while learning to talk to unfamiliar groups that I didn’t mind the Texas heat.   The book improved my civility as I sweated off the pounds.

But I do not always listen to audiobooks. Sometimes, to retain more information, I relax and read a written book. This helps bring about wellness in a different way. In this case, I read for retention and relaxation. Some spiritual books even help me with the practice of mindfulness and prayer.

“Waiting on the Word” by Malcolm Guite is one book I am reading now. If you do not know Malcolm, I highly recommend him. He is an Anglican priest, poet, commentator, songwriter, and singer in a rock’n’roll band. Here is his blog page.

Waitning on the Word by Malcolm Guite helps my wellness
Waiting on the Word Malcolm Guite

“Waiting on the Word” is a series of poems with associated commentary and reflection for Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany. I am reading this Advent, which has helped me with my prayer life.

Seven Books for Wellness

I also read books to inform myself on different aspects of wellness. Here are seven books I’ve read in the last few years to help me grow in this area.

1. Bill Bryson’s “The Body” is essential for anybody trying to heal their body and improve their overall health. The book is excellent. It gives insight into the human body, from the brain down to the toes and everything in between.

2.  “From Strength to Strength” by Arthur C Brooks is perfect for those who are getting older and want to figure out their next mission. It talks about how you use the fluid intelligence of your earlier years differently as it becomes more crystallized into wisdom.

3.  “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown discusses simplifying your life by breaking it down to the essentials. In this way, you relieve anxiety and do not become as focused on the minutiae of life.

4.  “Think Again” by Adam Grant talks about how you can constantly improve by changing your mind. The book provides the best techniques to change direction and discern where to go.

5.  “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg and “Atomic Habits” by James Clear are essential to understanding how to use habits to improve yourself.

6. “Green Lights” by Matthew McConaughey is a surprising book about how Matthew accomplished his success in life by chasing the green lights instead of fretting about the stoplights.

7. “10% Happier” by Dan Harris gives insight into the simple tasks you can do day-to-day to feel more fulfilled and, in general, happier.

I could go on with many others. If you look at just my audiobooks, I’ve listened to over 250 books in the last five years.

What About Actual Reading

I read a lot less in physical form, but audiobooks are a good way to get an initial survey of a book that you may want to dive into deeper. And if you want to go on a long walk to lose weight, nothing beats “The Game of Thrones” in audiobook form while walking long distances.

Writing for Wellness

Enough about reading, so let’s move on to writing. Writing is excellent for wellness in three different ways.

Journaling can be an excellent way to relieve stress and anxiety while remembering what you are thankful for and the lessons you learned that day. I have kept a journal for the last 10 years and have somewhere along the lines of 40 fully completed journal books. The journaling book I am currently using is the Gratitude Journal, and I like it because it has both a day portion and an evening portion, so you can plan your day and see how you did during the day. It also provides a weekly challenge and a quote that inspires you daily.

A second form of writing that helps with wellness is blogging. It is helpful in several ways. First, it enables you to cement new ideas and concepts as you learn them. I find myself reading my older blogs to remember lessons I have learned and reinitiate those practices.

Second, it distracts you from the TV and other mind-numbing activities that don’t help you improve.

Lastly, it allows you to play it forward in part by sharing the lessons that you have learned so that others can succeed. I also find inspiration in writing, especially poetry. It takes my mind out of the day-to-day minutiae and lifts it to contemplate something larger than myself in my petty once it needs the hour.

Arithmetic and Wellness?

Most of you can determine why writing and reading are essential to wellness. But I may have questioned what arithmetic has to do with wellness.

I have not previously blogged about this, but I teach high school math part-time. I have found that preparing for my lessons has sharpened my mind and problem-solving abilities. Solving a math problem also gives you a sense of immediate satisfaction and accomplishment when you get it right. It also helps you exercise that most important muscle, the mind, as you struggle with an algebraic concept that you may have known forty years ago but had forgotten. It is also rewarding to pass on the love of math to another generation.

Your 8th Grade Teacher Was Right!

I also love studying the algorithms and math behind wellness applications such as WW and Noom.  Call me a geek,  but knowing how WW Smart points are calculated and how those calculations have changed over the years has made me more nutritionally aware.

So there you have it. Your 8th grade teacher was correct when they told you reading, writing, and arithmetic would make you a better person. So, grab a good book, write down your learning, and exercise your mind with math puzzles. I promise you you will improve and change well. You can hear this blog with some additional information on our Podcast Page.

Five December Tips for Reducing Stress This Holiday Season

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Five Wellness Tips to Make It Through December

The Delight and Difficulties of December

I love the holidays in December, but the month can be full of stress for recovering food addicts like me.  The cookies, candies, and cakes that are a fixture of Christmas and other December holidays can make it hard to stay on track with your weight maintenance.

December can also be stressful for mental wellness, especially for those who recently lost loved ones. It can also be lonely for those away from family and friends.

Shopping, preparing for the company, and closing out work before departing for the holidays can also cause stress. When the kids were younger, my wife and I left work and rushed around frantically, trying to get the last Furby or the latest Pokémon game. Equally stressful was Christmas Day, when we showed the kids how to get Pikachu through the cave in the game we had just bought.

Despite all of this, I love Christmas. I look forward to the holidays each year, but I often worry if I will make it through December with my fitness and sanity intact.

Image of song parody video - If we make it through Christmas and December with the holiday stress we will be fine.
If We Make It Through December with Our Wellness intact.

It is Like a Country Song

It is like that old Merle Haggard song, “If We Make It Through December.”  Here’s a new chorus and verse of my devising.  You can hear me sing it on the latest version by clicking this link to the Change Well Podcast or view it on our YouTube video here

If we make it through December,

Everything is going to be all right, I know,

It’s a stressful time in winter,

And I shiver when I see the falling snow.

If we make it through December,

Got plans to exercise when it comes summertime,

Maybe even do a burpee,

 If we make it through December, we’ll be fine.

Got stuck here down at the office,

My boss wanted me to do some extra things,

Got so stressed by the late departure,

I went out and got some onion rings.

I don’t mean to gain weight in December,

It’s meant to be the happy time of year,  

But that lady just took the last Furby,

So I went to the bar, and I had a beer.

I apologize to Merle’s legacy. The original song, If We Make It Through December, can be read about by clicking here. 

However, the sentiment is true. Making it through December is challenging for those who are watching their wellness. Here are five tips to help you stay on track this holiday season.

Don’t Be Afraid to Say No This December

The season is not only the time of giving but also the time for just saying no. I know it’s difficult when grandma comes to you with her latest treat and says you must eat – you’re getting too thin. But you know that’s not the case, and you have already eaten three treats. So, as hard as it is to say no to grandma, you need to keep your weight under control.

How do you say no to grandma? Well, it won’t go well if you don’t practice. You need to say no diplomatically. For example, tell her that her fruitcake was so good that you only needed one piece.

Finally, you need to set boundaries with your family and friends. This is especially important if you are an introvert. Your uncle George may want to talk to you for the first hour, but when he rambles on for the second hour, politely step away and take a walk. Everyone needs their space.

Don’t Wait Until Summertime to Exercise

I know it is hard to exercise when it is cold out. Finding the extra time during this busy season to keep up your regular exercise routine is tricky. But you must exercise and do not wait until summer comes and the weather changes.

Finding an indoor venue is the best way to exercise when cold out. There is always a way to exercise inside, even in the coldest places like Des Moines, IA. I once exercised in Des Moines when it was ten below zero and a Blizzard by walking in their heated skyway at 6:00 AM. You can read more about this by clicking this link.

Another way to exercise during the holiday season is to gamify shopping. See how fast you can run down the aisles with your shopping cart and get the groceries or presents you need. I once did this in 10 minutes with two kids in a shopping cart, and they loved it. We called the game Crazy Cart.

One last thing that’ll make exercising easier during this holiday season is working out with a friend. This lets you catch up before the festivities and get your sweat on. You can read more tips in our previous blog

Work Can Wait This December

Another person you must say no to is your boss, which is problematic. When they come up to you with a last-second request, you must remember that they probably will not recall that you did this for them one month later. But your child will remember the Christmas concert you missed their whole life. I know this from experience working throughout the holidays on several proposals.

Tell your boss up front your expectations for time-off. Plan with them the time that you will need to take off. Also, work with them to prioritize tasks to hit quarterly targets while reducing time away from family and friends. In my experience, most bosses will work with you if you do this forthrightly and diplomatically.

The Best Gifts Do Not Need to Be the Hottest Gift

My mom had a great observation on Christmas gifts, especially for little children.  She said you could get the best toy, but toddlers usually play with the bow on the package. 

You do not need to stand in line for an hour or be stressed that Amazon will not deliver the hot toy on time.  How much fun is a Tickle-Me Elmo after you tickled it a few times? And trust me, a Furby can get downright annoying with its gibberish and constant need to be fed.

The best presents I received during childhood were thoughtful surprises, many made by hand. The one I remember the most is a chemistry set my parents got me without asking.  I was no Young Sheldon, but my parents knew I loved academics.  I completed every experiment in that kit.

Remember The Reason for the Season

Holidays are meant for fellowship, family, and celebrating something higher than ourselves. My family celebrates Christmas each year, when Jesus, the light that came into the world, was born. Other faiths have Festivals of Light, including Hanukkah, Diwali, and Kwanza, to name some. This joy is to be shared among friends, family, and neighbors! 

The light of these holidays may seem a bit dimmer this year.  We struggle to find peace with the ongoing conflicts in the world.  Don’t give in to the stress of the holiday season and the world. 

The best way to stay on track this December is to be thankful and celebrate the true meaning of Christmas.   Say a prayer for someone in need.  Donate to charity.  Most of all, we should honor the light that has come into the world with peace, giving, and kindness.

In closing, here is a poem I wrote on the meaning of Christmas.

God and man intertwined,
He chose us and left Heaven behind,
To dwell on Earth and bring death to sin,
This is when our true life begins.So, today, when you open boxes, bows,
Think of the gift where all time flows,
God seeking us, come down from Above,
In the heart of a babe, overflowing with love