Joy Over Grievances – Saint Carlo Acutis

The world has become increasingly full of people with grievances. People complain about politicians, their neighbors, or the lack of forth in their Latte.  These grievances have been amplified through social media. Sure, there are actual injustices in this world and room for righteous anger.  But when your life becomes one long list of grievances, all you get is grief! That was not the case with Carlo Acutis.

Inspiring people to disregard the petty slights and injustices of the world to focus and amplify moments of joy.  They overcome adversity to show the way to a better life.  They use the tools that so often sow discord to show us a better way.  One such person was Carlo Acutis, who will be canonized as a Saint on September 7, 2025. 

Carlos Acutis is the first millennial Catholic Saint.  He passed from this earthly realm on 12 October 2006, from leukemia at the age of 17.  He recognized the emerging power of the internet and social media and chose to utilize it to proclaim the goodness and glory of God.   One of Carlo’s sayings was “we are all likely to fall short because as soon as someone says something we don’t like, we instantly grow angry”.  However, unlike many of us (including myself), he did not utilize his social media skills to amplify his grievances.  Instead, he used his skill to develop a media site that showcases the power of Eucharistic miracles to transform his life and that of others.  His website and media presentation are now displayed on five continents and have been shown in over a thousand parishes and more than a hundred universities.  Instead of influencing others to buy the latest gadget or gift, he influences others to a better life and to God.

His real life mirrored his virtual life.  Although his family was wealthy, he did not spend the money on the latest game.  Instead, he would use his allowance to buy food and sleeping bags for people experiencing homelessness.  Instead of endless scrolling and posting for likes, he spent his time striving to bring others to what truly matters – being kind and loving God. 

His final acts are the most important for our time.  He did not post about his suffering as he was dying.  He instead said, “There are a lot of people suffering a lot more than me. “  He was always focused on what is above and beyond, instead of what is here and before.   He offered his suffering and kept a joyful face till the end.

Amazing Tolkien Teachings that Transform

Happy Birthday, Professor Tolkien

Today is the birthday of JRR Tolkien, one of the significant influences on my life. I wrote a blog a few years back, but I have learned much more since then about this great author, father, Catholic, and teacher.  I am reading The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien and recently finished Tolkien’s Faith, bringing new insights about my favorite author.

I saw the movie Tolkien a few years back and highly recommend it to everyone! The film documented the fundamental moments of Tolkien’s formation behind his masterpieces The Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion. As I relived his early life through early adulthood, I thought about how much Tolkien and his works were instrumental in my own growth. Here are the eight key moments when Tolkien’s works formed and changed me.

My First Book Purchase – LOTR by JRR Tolkien.

The first book I bought with my own money (you can read about how I earned that money here: A Penny A Minute) was the Lord of the Rings box set.  I have posted a picture of the Two Towers to show you how much value I got for the few dollars I spent. 

Two Towers on Tolkien

I remember buying them like yesterday at Quakerbridge Mall and using the money I earned from my first job.  Racing home, I put my name on the cover in case someone tried to take it, and devoured the books like I did the Quarter Pounder that I had bought with the remaining change.

 I have now read those same books with pages falling out at least once a year.  The first time I read them all in a weekend.   I remember cowering in the bed as I read about the Black Riders for the first time and adding Frodo and Sam to my evening prayers.

Bonding with My Best Friend Over Tolkien

My best friend from elementary through middle school was Paul. He loved the Lord of the Rings as much as or more than me, and we discussed it endlessly. Paul also introduced me to the Lord of the Rings allusions in Led Zeppelin songs, such as Misty Mountain Hop and some Galadriel references in Stairway to Heaven. 

He also had pictures from the Lord of the Rings calendars decorating his room.  We parted ways in high school as our lives took different turns (The Road Goes Ever On!).  But I will never forget the joy I had in discussing the latest calendar and references to LOTR by Led Zeppelin!

Love of Family

My Dad was a Steelworker, a no-nonsense Blue-Collar man.  He did not care for fantasy, elves, or hobbits.  In contrast, I was like Frasier to my Dad’s Marty Crane.  

Throughout 1978, I looked for every news item on Ralph Bashki’s upcoming rendition of The Lord of the Rings. My dad got tickets for the opening day for the whole family because he knew how much I loved it. He also got me the LP soundtrack for Christmas. 

The movie was not good, but my whole family sat through it.  They sat through it and tried to cheer me up, as I was disappointed.   I never felt more loved since my family showed kindness and support for something I cared about.

My Senior High School Thesis on Tolkien

 I love to write and get as much joy from it as I do from reading LOTR. I feel exhilarated after writing each of my blogs, and unlike most, I love writing essays for school. 

My senior thesis for High School was one of my favorites – Christ Imagery in the Lord of the Rings!  I learned so much from studying this subject. 

Unlike Lewis, who is allegorical in the Narnia series, Tolkien is more subtle but profound.  Frodo, Aragorn, and Gandalf all represent elements of Christ.  Frodo is the clearest as he carries the heavy burden to Mount Doom.  Aragorn, as a disguised king, leads to a new kingdom.  Gandalf is perhaps the least subtle as he arises from the dead in white after battling the Balrog. 

Tolkien did not like allegory, but he understood the fundamental truth that our highest calling is to sacrifice.  I still remember the exhilaration of getting an A on the paper, but more so the feeling that the LOTR revealed a more profound truth!  I have learned from reading Tolkien’s Faith by Holly Ordway that Tolkien’s faith infused everything he did.

Falling for the Fellowship

I waited 23 years for the next movie version of The Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring. My wife and I had four kids waiting for its arrival! 

My oldest daughter Kate was old enough to stay up late to catch the movie with me on the first day. It came out the day before I had to lead an Oral presentation for the biggest deal in my career. Nevertheless, I got the only two last tickets available for the midnight showing on the first day. 

My daughter and I waited anxiously in the last two seats behind a bar that partially obstructed my view.  I was praying that it would not be like the earlier movie.  I will not lie to you.  When the Shire and Gandalf scene came on the screen, I wept tears of joy. 

Peter Jackson had captured the essence of the books that defined my life: the decency of the Hobbits, the goodness of Gandalf, and the evil of the Dark Riders, which used to shake me in my bed so many years ago. 

This will sound like the ultimate geek, but I count that first viewing of the Fellowship as one of the top 10 moments in my life. (By the way, it inspired me to win the most important job of my career the next day!).

Dancing in the Glade

I thought nothing would match the scene of the Shire, but a scene from the Tolkien movie did it.  My favorite story from Tolkien is not LOTR but one chapter from the Silmarillion – Of “Beren and Luthien.”  I love it for three reasons. 

It examines the love between people of two cultures (Elves and Man). Beren and Luthien fight against all odds to defeat evil. Last and most important, it shows the never-ending love between a man and his wife. 

Grave of Edith and JRR Tolkien - Beren and Luthien

For the uninitiated, Beren and Luthien Tinuviel represent J.R.R. Tolkien and his wife Edith.  They were married for over 50 years.  Edith was Tolkien’s muse and the anchor to his life.  The image took my breath away as I sat beside my wife of 38+ years and thought of her in that glade.   In the movie, they show Edith dancing in the woods in England, the image Tolkien explains in his poem below. 

“The leaves were long, the grass was green,
The hemlock-umbels tall and fair,
And in the glade, a light was seen.
Of stars in shadow shimmering.
Tinuviel was dancing there.
To the music of a pipe unseen,
And the light of stars was in her hair,
And in her raiment glimmering.” (Read more here – https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/luthien).

Faith Lessons from Tolkien and St John Henry Newman

 I knew Tolkien was a Catholic like me, but I realized further connections after reading Tolkien’s Faith.  Tolkien’s mother took JRR and his brother Hillary to England.  After her husband’s passing, his mother became Catholic in the Birmingham Oratory, where St. John Henry Newman resided.  More than that, Father Francis Morgan, an aide of the Saint, was JRR Tolkien’s guardian when his mother passed.

This connection deeply moved me since the prayers and writings of St. John Henry Newman have been crucial to my faith formation.  I discovered his prayers on a pilgrimage when we said one of his prayers each night during our return on our bus.   

Written Words of a Loving Father.

I am now reading The Letters of JRR Tolkien, which contains 500 pages of Tolkien’s letters. The letters give insight into his books, college life, relationship with Inklings, and, most importantly, family.  

Professor Tolkien’s most touching and instructive letters were to his son Christopher during WW II. To keep Cristopher’s spirits up, he shared his WW I experience.  He also discussed the Lord of the Rings and had Christopher edit and develop maps for the book.  He also wrote letters before WW I to his wife.  His final letter before his passing was to his daughter Priscilla about his arrival at a friend’s house.  In all, we see how Tolkien loved and instructed his family.

Eight events that shaped a life!  Thank you, J.R.R. Tolkien and the makers of this film, for making this film that explains the life of this man who shaped me and so many others!

Five New Year Weight Loss Tips

Happy New Year!   I have culled through my content on the Wellness Leadership blog, podcast, and this blog to find the five best tips for those starting a weight loss journey.  Hopefully, these tips will lead you to a healthier, happier New Year.

Visualize Your Why for the New Year

The first thing this New Year is to define your purpose.  Each morning, wake up with a “why” in your heart and head, sometimes two!  What is a “why”?  A “why” is the motivation for taking on something difficult and the purpose for doing so.  A why drives you forward even when you can’t go on.  Why’s are imperative to change a bad habit or get out of a rut.

It is important to have a visual representation of the outcome you want to obtain. This representation will remind you why you are making the change and help keep you motivated when times get tough. One way to do that is to create a Vision Board, a series of pictures and text snippets that visualize your goal. 

Below is the visual representation of my first “why” that I created at WW on the Hay House Vision Board app (located here: Hay House Vision Board).  As represented in this Vision Board, I wanted to lose weight, look decent for my reunion, and get healthy in memory of my parents.

New Year weight loss Vision Board
Make A Vision Board

You can take concrete steps daily this new year to wake up with your why. I accomplish this through journaling and meditation. I use the Gratitude Journal (located here ) to help prompt me to realize my why. 

So, do not wander and wallow in the unknown this New Year.  Instead, visualize your why and build a better future for yourself and others! To read more about developing your why, read this blog.

Put One Foot in Front of the Other this New Year

On January 2nd, you see the same thing in gyms worldwide each New Year. Membership jumps as everyone tries to lose the pounds they put on over the holidays. The February phenomenon follows that as gym attendance takes a significant nosedive.

Often, people who join the gym and leave early in the new year start too fast out of the gate. They decide to try to sprint instead of walk and injure themselves.  

Others failed to take the second step after joining the gym.  Perhaps they were too self-conscious about their appearance in their exercise clothes or afraid to ask for help on the weight machines.   Either way, they did not follow the cardinal rule when starting.  You need to put one foot in front of the other. 

I have experienced the need to take it slow but still go. Weighing over 350 pounds when I started ten New Years ago, I could not walk far because of my joints, so I did low-impact water aerobics. I then progressed over time to the elliptical trainer. By the journey’s end, I was doing four hours of Spinning nonstop or walking 50 miles in one day. Remember, start with baby steps and then progress.

So, like the Winter Warlock in that old holiday favorite – Santa Claus is Coming to Town, just put one foot in front of the other, and you will soon hit your wellness goal. To learn more about this topic, read this blog.

Be Consistent Like Army Football

Army football had a great year, except for that one loss to Navy.   The key to their success is the same key to a positive weight loss journey: consistency! 

The Army football team does not have many plays, but what they do have is run consistently. Each player knows exactly where to block in their Flexbone Triple Option set. This scheme is run only at the Service Academies and requires discipline and consistency. Due to the smaller size of the players, each player needs to execute flawlessly. 

This consistency also served me well, as I lost over 170 lbs! I did not have a lot of plays in my weight loss arsenal, but I consistently did what I did have (tracking points, walking, mindfulness). Each day, I tracked my food, walked a mile, and meditated for at least 10 minutes. Much like the Army team pounds the football down the field, I pounded away the pounds with consistent execution!

To learn other rules of wellness from Army Football, read this blog.

THINK Before You Speak in the New Year

We all know the adage: Think before you speak.   However, take it a step further and follow the acronym THINK this New Year.  

  1. T – Is It Truthful? Here is one of the thoughts that ran through my head when I was 358 lbs.  “I do not have any willpower, and I am too tired to break out of this rut!”  That statement was not truthful, and on second thought, I realized it.  I had jumped out of planes at Airborne school and passed the strict discipline of the black hats.  I had the willpower, so it was not a truthful statement.  If you focus on falsehood instead of the truth, you attack yourself, others, and the wrong problem.
  2. H – Is it Helpful? Do not dwell on the mistakes of the past.  It is not helpful to dwell on the Quarter Pounder you ate.  Instead, it is beneficial to think about what triggered the momentary lapse and plan how you will do better.
  3. I—Is it Inspiring? I cannot tell you how much reading inspiring books and quotes has changed and fashioned my inner dialogue. Don’t preach to the choir; Be Inspired when you communicate to yourself and others!
  4. N—Is it Needed? Too many random, negative thoughts clutter our inner and outer dialogue.  Do not cloud your thoughts with unneeded worries or fears; focus on what’s now and needed!
  5. K – Is it Kind? This is the most critical part of the acronym: Be conspicuously kind to yourself and others.  A kind act to yourself will allow you to drive to improved health when you have a momentary setback.  Being kind to others will have a double whammy.  It will bring you joy and lower stress. 

Stop The Negative Talk, Take a Walk, and Be Thankful.

Some say the key to health is reducing calories, while others say exercise is the key. Both are important, but controlling negative thoughts is the key to weight loss. A positive outlook and a can-do attitude work wonders on your body and soul. 

When striving to get well and be a better leader, you should first stop the negative talk. You must replace “can’t do” with “can do.” 

Also, you need to stop the practice of “worst casting.”  The racing voice inside your head blows the simplest setback into a full-fledged downward spiral. The best way to stop the negative talk is to take a walk.

When your mind is racing, and you’re feeling stressed, don’t reach for a Whataburger – take a walk!  Preferably outside.  It will do three things for you. 

First, it will relieve stress and calm you down.  Especially if you are out in nature, hearing birds singing and smelling the flowers. 

Second, it will allow you to catch up with your thoughts and combine them coherently. One thing that helps with this second one is listening to a relevant audiobook. I cannot tell you how often I solved the latest problem or came up with a blog story by listening to a book.

The last rule is to focus on thankfulness instead of worry and anxiety.  No matter the difficulty of the situation, you can be thankful for the learning experience.  To read more on this topic, check out this blog.

A New Year, A New You

Hopefully, these five tips will help you improve your wellness this New Year. 

Focus on Family, Not Food This Thanksgiving

Family before Food this Thanksgiving to Keep on Track

Many people fear putting on a few pounds during the Thanksgiving Holiday.  The trick is to remove the focus on food and put it on family, friends, and fitness.  Here are five tips, a song, and a poem to make this a great, healthy Thanksgiving.

Think Friends and Family Before Food.

Change the focus of Thanksgiving from food to family and friends.  Thanksgiving is a time to catch up with people and tell them how much you love them.  Make memories instead of eating too many marshmallows with your sweet potato pie.  Indeed, you can’t eat if you’re talking with someone.  Focus on the fellowship, slow down, and eat more slowly.  It will allow your food to digest more. 

Here is a case in point. One of my most memorable Thanksgiving memories was the 1974 Dallas/Washington Football Game. We were sitting in our home in New Jersey after Thanksgiving Dinner. My Dad, Big D, a transplanted Texan from Dallas, was sitting in his easy chair distraught. I was pacing back and forth as I would do in a crucial game. In contrast, my great Uncle John, who recently turned 80, sat on the couch snoring after too much turkey.

My Dad and I were up in arms because the Cowboys were down 16-3 late in the third quarter, and Roger Staubach, the Hall of Fame Quarterback, was knocked out of the game. The Cowboys had to win the game to get in the playoffs. In walks the Cowboys’ untested rookie Clint Longley, who, from that date on, became known as the Mad Bomber.

He drove the Cowboys down the field twice and got them within 7 points with only 28 seconds remaining. But the Mad Bomber was not done. What happened next changed the course of the game and made for a memorable Thanksgiving.

Clint reared back and threw a 70-year pass to a wide-open Drew Pearson. He was so wide open because no one thought the Mad Bomber could throw 40 yards, let alone 70. The Touchdown changed the trajectory of the game and made for a hilarious and exciting Thanksgiving

Big D, a crazy Cowboy fan, jumped up in the air with his fist raised high and inadvertently smashed our Longhorn lamp hanging from the ceiling. This sent glass shattering and the Longhorn horns (yes, like Bevo) attached to the light crashing to the ground.

Of course, this promptly woke my Uncle John from his turkey-induced sleep and scared him so much that my Aunt Marie had to take him home. Next, my Dad grabbed me and lifted me in the air as we jumped up and down victoriously. What a memory! 

Exercise to Burn and Earn

One of my annual traditions for Thanksgiving is to work out before the Thanksgiving feast. In recent years, this has been doing the Peloton turkey burn ride that occurs about this year at 9:00 central on Peloton. In prior years, I have done similar things, but like the Cedar Park Turkey trot, the critical thing is to burn and earn the calories you will eat later. Now I’m the way Adam Sandler, but I decided to make a song about just this point, and it’s called Turkey Burn. I’m going to sing it to you here now, but I’ve also included a link to our podcast where you can hear this song performed live with all the lyrics, so here goes nothing;

Turkey burn, turkey burn,
All those calories you need to earn,

Ride your bike for about an hour,
Then hurry up and take a shower,
So you cleaned up and look like a winner,
When you eat your Thanksgiving Dinner.

Turkey burn, turkey burn,
All those calories you need to earn,

When you’re done, you can take a brief rest,
Sit around awhile and talk to your guest,
Then, it is time to get back on your feet,
Take a nice walk, don’t eat another treat.

Turkey burn, turkey burn,
All those calories you need to earn.

Now it is time to help others out,
So you don’t look like a lazy lout,
Wash the dishes before the big game,
With these tips, you won’t be lame.
This Thanksgiving Day!

Track Before You Attack

The best way to lose weight is to track what you eat.  By consciously tracking your food intake, you will better understand portion control and the trigger foods you need to avoid. Engaging in battle, whether in war, a project, or, in this case, Thanksgiving dinner, without a plan, is asking for trouble (and extra pounds. The best thing to do is plan and track what you eat beforehand.

Now, I use Weight Watchers as my tracking mechanism, but you can use something else. The key is to track what you eat and understand your portions.

You can stick to your planned portion size by building a proportion plate.   You can take a paper plate and draw the size of your portions.  You can also use something like a Bento Box with built-in portion sizes.

The rule is always to figure out what you will have before sitting down to Thanksgiving Dinner.  Like a good soldier, never eat without a good plan of attack. This preparation gives you a sense of control and confidence in your choices.

Hydrate and Take the Edge Off Of Your Hunger

Another way to keep your weight down during Thanksgiving is to ensure you’re grazing before the meal. This sounds counterintuitive, but in reality, it makes much sense. If you’re filling up on vegetables and hydrating yourself with water (not high-octane things like alcohol), you’ll have less room for the turkey, the stuffing, the sweet potato pie, the marshmallows, and all the other stuff.

This is an old trick that I’ve done many times. It doesn’t mean you should graze on candy and pie before dinner. It means eating celery without the cream cheese, carrots, and other things, like a relish tray, that will ensure you’ve filled up now but not bloated before dinner. Therefore, you’ll have less room, and you’ll have better portion control.

Be Thankful and Give to Others

The last rule is to focus on thanks and giving instead of eating and the peculiarities of others.  By thinking about others going without, you will be inclined not to overindulge.  Better yet, find a way to serve others through organizations like Mobile Loaves and Fishes.  Here are a few other ways to give and give thanks. 

1.  Show appreciation to your family and friends who help you daily. No person is an Island, and our loved ones help us accomplish the mission God has given us!

2. Be thankful for your vocation. Your vocation gives you exciting, engaging work that, quite frankly, puts Thanksgiving dinner on the table (of course, sometimes it prevents you from eating it).

3. Express thanks for the inheritance you received from those who have led the way. Remember those who have passed, and be thankful for the memories.

4.  Help with the dishes and clean-up.  Others will be thankful for another way to burn calories.

For the ultimate blog on thankfulness and Thanksgiving, read this blog: The Power of Gratitude-The Story of the Thanksgiving Calves

A Poem of Thanksgiving

I want to close with a short poem I wrote for Thanksgiving week.

Better attributes you’ll never find,
Then those of being loving and kind!
Showing God’s smile day by day,
Lightening the load along the way
.

In this week of thanks and heart,
All of us must do our part,
To spread good thoughts everywhere,
To show all you really care!