How to Live After the Epiphany

Last Sunday was the feast of the Epiphany, the typical ending of the Christmas season. In this context, the Epiphany is defined as the manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles represented by the Maji (the Three Kings).  I wonder what the Maji felt as they returned to their homeland and got further and further away from the Christ child and the Star of Bethlehem. Did they feel sorrow and sadness, or did the knowledge of the epiphany spur them to greater spiritual heights?

The epiphany
We Live Life Between Epiphanies

Epiphany has a second definition in the secular sense. It means a sudden revelation or insight. For example, you can imagine Thomas Edison saying, “I had an epiphany after inventing the first light bulb,” or Alexander Graham Bell’s excitement when he first heard the voice over the telephone. It is easy to be motivated while you’re having an epiphany or leading up to a new insight. But most of our lives happen in between epiphanies. What you do in between inspirations leads to a meaningful life.

Today’s blog is all about what we do in between epiphanies. How do we discern and discover our next great insight? What are the steps that we follow to reach that next epiphany? How do we remain hopeful and motivated in between the high points?  Most importantly, how do we prepare for the final epiphany that occurs only in our passing? You can read related blogs here and here.

Searching for Your Next Epiphany

The wise men did not go blindly in search of the prophesized King. Instead, they read the charts to find the Star of Bethlehem, their North Star that led to the Epiphany. Similarly, ship captains look for the North Star to orient them North correctly. 

Finding your next North Star is equally vital as you navigate life’s trials. The best way to determine where to go next is by reflecting on your last peak experience.  What about your previous highlight made you fulfilled and on the right track?  How do you build on that insight to raise yourself to a higher level?

Here is an example.  In 2015, I had a clear North Star.  I had to lose weight and get healthy to support my family and team.  I reached my goal of losing 150 pounds, which was both exhilarating and worrisome.  After achieving the goal, I could have had a letdown after the initial high. 

Instead, I decided to build on what I had learned and pay it forward to others.  Also, I understood that although I had improved my body, my soul still needed work.  So, I made a goal to apply the lessons I learned in meeting my health targets to improve my soul.  I established targets for prayer and ways to display kindness to others. 

Once you have determined your North Star, you need to envision it.  Develop a Vision Board, a series of pictures and text describing where you are going next, and keep it where you can see it daily.

Following Your New North Star

Identifying your purpose and next peak is step one.  Now, you need to make a plan to reach it.  Think of all the planning the wise men had to do to get to Bethlehem.  They had to secure Camels, provisions, and equipment for the long journey.  They also had to adjust to the sandstorms that knocked them off their path.

You need to practice similar intentionality, planning, and adjustment.   Establish interim SMART goals to guide you on your journey.  SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.  Do not wander lost in the desert of irrelevance buffeted by the sands of discontent. Instead, like the wise men, they plan to reach the Epiphany at the appointed time.  And do not get knocked off-track by the occasional sandstorm.

Living the Mountain Top Moment

When you reach a high point, relish it. Live in the moment and learn from it to carry on during the low periods. 

Again, take the example of the Three Kings. They took the time to pay homage to Jesus and presented gifts of honor and thankfulness. They also used their experience to change their lives. The Bible records that they returned to their land by a different path, avoiding Herod. Also, the Epiphany and its memory sustained them on their long journey home. 

It also changed their direction in life.  After the Nativity visit, the three kings lived a virtuous life.  Legend has it that they were instructed and baptized by St. Thomas the Apostle in his travels to the East.

The Magi’s experience after the Epiphany has important lessons for us as we savor a high point and then return to everyday life.  First, celebrate your achievement and take time before moving on to the next thing.  Second, distill the lessons learned from your peak and use them as fuel for the road.  Lastly, when you hit a roadblock to your next destination, recall your Epiphany to provide hope and faith.

The Last Epiphany

As we travel our earthly road, one thing should guide our direction while we live between Epiphanies—the last revelation.  The life we have lived and the kindnesses we have shown will be measured when we see God face to face.  This final road may be long and hard for our bodies, but our souls can strengthen until we reach the everlasting Epiphany.

Nurturing the Seeds of Consolation in the Soil of Desolation

This week’s Change Well podcast, Episode 26, is available on my company’s podcast page. It provides insights and practical tips on maintaining wellness, whether you are experiencing joy or sorrow, by reviewing ten rules for living. Written by Angelo Roncalli, better known as Pope John XXIII, the Decalogue for Living provides rules for living a good and kind life regardless of your current season.

The podcast also includes a recitation of this original poem that I wrote on the topic.

The seeds of consolation are nurtured,
grown ans formed in soil of desolation,
waiting for the appointed time,
to spring forth to renew
both body and soul.

We do not know the day or hour,
when like the sun rising on a new day,
our darkness will be pierced
and hope renewed.
Nor do we know if it will be in this life
or the next.

But, we can have faith that it will come,
hope that our hearts will be set afire,
and charity to all,
in the time of waiting.

Don Grier 2024

Lost, Then Found

We wander our lives,
With purpose unknown,
Our minds half-formed,
Our souls half-grown.

In a foreign place,
That is far from home,
We seek the forgotten,
Untethered, we roam.

God is watching us,
But we refuse to see,
The person and blessing,
We were meant to be.

We seek but are lost,
Oh, the games we play!
Where we’re going, what direction?
Not one of us can say.

So snatch us, Lord,
from the jaws of death,
Give us new life,
Give us new breath.

Help us to seek,
So we can be found,
Our sins all broken,
Our hearts unbound.

And with Your help,
It is not too late,
To find the good,
Forgo the great!

So Stop! Listen!
Forget the strife!
Find your purpose,
Breathe new life,
Find the person,
You were meant to be,
With soul unfettered,
With our spirit freed!

Don Grier

Seven Habit Stacks to Heal Your Body and Restore Your Soul

This is the second of a two-part blog series focusing on practices that nurture the body and soul.  The first blog of the series, Five Restorative Practices to Heal Your Body and Soul, covered five powerful practices that can help you promote your soul and, in turn, improve your health and disposition.   This blog will cover how to stack in sequence or, better yet,  run body and soul habit combinations in parallel for a double whammy. You can also hear both blogs with additional info in podcast form by subscribing to the Change Well podcast, available at our website link here or on Spotify or Apple Podcast

The concept of habit stacking, as introduced in Atomic Habits, helps to establish beneficial habits more quickly. Here is a simple example. You need to take medication each day, which is an established habit. However, you also want to institute the beneficial habit of drinking sixty-four ounces of water. A way to develop the new habit is to place a water bottle next to your pill container. Presto! Now, you have a ready-made container with the right amount of water next to your pill box. You need to wash down the pills and, in so doing, start drinking the water you need for the day!

I used this habit stacking idea to benefit significantly during my weight loss journey of losing 150+ pounds in under a year.  My physical transformation recovered my body, but my soul was still suffering. I was still sometimes a curmudgeon, and my peace of mind, though better, could still get rattled. So, I decided to piggyback some new soul habits with some of my firmly established body habits.  I will provide examples of my body and soul habit stacks and scrums, more on that term later, that relate to my faith practice – Roman Catholicism.  However, I will try briefly suggesting how these may be adapted based on my research. 

The first stack that I tried was what I called the Texas Three Step.  I had already established the Texas Two Step method during my weight loss journey.  Each Saturday morning, I would get up at 6:00 and work out for an hour and a half before attending my WW meeting.  Good for the body! 

Two years ago, my parish established Saturday morning prayers (called Lauds in the Liturgy of the Hours) combined with Adoration on Saturday in the early morning. This led to my new and improved Texas three-step Saturday ritual. I now get up on Saturday at 5 AM and exercise to get as close to my weight target as possible. I then went to my Church and prayed for an hour to clear the weight off my soul. After praying (and sometimes Mass), I head to my WW meeting to share wellness ideas with my friends, now at the 9:30 WW Meeting. In one fell swoop, I shed weight on body, soul, and shared fellowship to start the weekend right!

I next created a daily body and soul stack.  It was similar to the first stack but less formal without group activities.  I had established an exercise habit that followed my morning water and medication discussed earlier.  I decided to add a prayer meditation after working out and subsequently stretching.  This worked well initially.  I got my heart rate up with exercise, then began slowing it down with stretching, and lastly, I established a contemplative prayer.  The exercise helped my prayer focus, and the prayer helped me slow down and heal my body.  However, I ran into a problem with time management.  I skipped exercises if I had a late night the night before. Or if I thought I had enough but limited time, I rushed both.   I began to put back on some weight because I prioritized the spiritual aspect.  I had to do something to bring them together.  That is when I came up with the idea of body and soul scrums while listening to a book on product management!

Scrum is likely known to rugby fans and software developers but may not be as well known to others.  Scrum in software development focuses, among other things, on parallel activities.  The origin of Scrum as a framework goes back to an article in the Harvard Business Review in 1986. “The New New Product Development Game” by Takeuchi and Nonaka described how first-class products are developed in cross-functional teams with an ‘all-simultaneous approach.’ 

Therefore, a body and soul scrum is when you simultaneously execute body and soul habits.  What is an example? I will use one of the oldest ones, perfect for the beginning of Christian Lent and practiced by many faiths, including Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Jainism, Hinduism, Judaism, and Taoism – Fasting and prayer!

Intermittent fasting is now all the rage for weight loss. Still, before my Silicon Valley colleagues adapted it to shed pounds, fasting was used by saints and spiritual leaders to deny themselves and develop spiritually.  It is the ultimate body and soul scrum, cleansing the body and healing the soul.  Today, on Ash Wednesday, I fast as part of my religion.  But also practice fasting more regularly to detoxify the body and soul.  I have put a link in the show notes to an article from the NIH on religious fasting

Besides fasting and prayer, I have developed other body and soul habit scrums I use weekly.  They help me manage my time while packing a one-two holistic punch of well-being. 

  1. Mike and Bike. In these previous blogs, I documented my love of cycling on our companion blog site: Peloton Pandemic PandemoniumDon’t Stop Believing: A Weight Loss Journey in Three Intervals. My respect and admiration for Father Mike Schmitz are right up there with this love. He was instrumental in my wellness journey, both body and soul. I started listening to his homilies after a Lenten retreat at our parish and would listen to his homilies while using the elliptical training. With the launch of the Bible in the Year podcast, I have taken it to a new level with Mike and Bike. At least three times weekly, I take a 20-minute scenic ride on the Peloton and turn off the sound. I then turn on the daily Bible in the Year podcast and listen to the Lord’s word while circumventing the pathways of Rome, Paris, or the Alps. With each Mike and Bike, I grow in knowing the Lord’s plan for me and building my quads! You can download the Bible in the Year podcast here Bible in a Year if you want to try it.
  2. Marching with Mary. Last May, I participated in a fundraiser to raise money for the mental wellness of veterans and soldiers. The StopSoldierSuicide.org fundraiser called for me to march 50 miles during May while carrying a 50 lbs. ruck. My 60-year-old body does not march fast with 50 lbs. on my back. It was seriously cutting down on my prayer time. I therefore decided to add reciting a silent Rosary while marching. A rosary is a series of prayers and meditations that use a unique prayer bead called a rosary.   As a Catholic, I believe this prayer practice was passed on to us from Mary through St. Dominic.  Other religious practices have prayer beads to recite prayers, chants, and mantras. This Marching with Mary practice allowed me to add over fifty prayers and meditations on each ruck march. In this way, I was not only able to raise money for Veterans, but I could pray for them, too.
  3. Hinge and Hallow. One of the reasons I ambled while marching was weakness in one of my knees. To help with this issue, I use a physical therapy application called Hinge Health. This application has a set of tailor-made exercises to help strengthen my knee. While doing my Hinge exercises, I listen to the Hallow mindfulness application https://hallow.com/. This application is an excellent resource for all Catholics and includes everything from The Daily Miracle meditation to Gregorian Chants to books from doctors of the Church.  I highly recommend it, and you may have seen their ad at the recent Superbowl, but there are other similar applications, such as Calm, that are secular or of a different faith that others can use. This combination helps me fix my knee and my disposition all at the same time!
  4. Exodus for the soul (and body). The last body/soul scrum is the one that launched it all. Two years ago, I participated with a group of men in my church in Exodus 90. This program is a ninety-day spiritual exercise for men based on three pillars: prayer, asceticism, and fraternity. Part of the ascetic practice is daily rigorous exercise, excluding alcohol and sweets, and days of fasting. It also includes daily prayer practice. It gave me the idea for the other four practices previously stated. I highly recommend it for all Catholic Men who need a wake-up call for both body and soul.

I hope these ideas can help you as they help me improve your body and soul.  Whether you practice body and soul habit stacks or scrums, thinking of the