thanksgiving

Focus on Family, Not Food This Thanksgiving

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Family before Food this Thanksgiving to Keep on Track

Many people fear putting on a few pounds during the Thanksgiving Holiday.  The trick is to remove the focus on food and put it on family, friends, and fitness.  Here are five tips, a song, and a poem to make this a great, healthy Thanksgiving.

Think Friends and Family Before Food.

Change the focus of Thanksgiving from food to family and friends.  Thanksgiving is a time to catch up with people and tell them how much you love them.  Make memories instead of eating too many marshmallows with your sweet potato pie.  Indeed, you can’t eat if you’re talking with someone.  Focus on the fellowship, slow down, and eat more slowly.  It will allow your food to digest more. 

Here is a case in point. One of my most memorable Thanksgiving memories was the 1974 Dallas/Washington Football Game. We were sitting in our home in New Jersey after Thanksgiving Dinner. My Dad, Big D, a transplanted Texan from Dallas, was sitting in his easy chair distraught. I was pacing back and forth as I would do in a crucial game. In contrast, my great Uncle John, who recently turned 80, sat on the couch snoring after too much turkey.

My Dad and I were up in arms because the Cowboys were down 16-3 late in the third quarter, and Roger Staubach, the Hall of Fame Quarterback, was knocked out of the game. The Cowboys had to win the game to get in the playoffs. In walks the Cowboys’ untested rookie Clint Longley, who, from that date on, became known as the Mad Bomber.

He drove the Cowboys down the field twice and got them within 7 points with only 28 seconds remaining. But the Mad Bomber was not done. What happened next changed the course of the game and made for a memorable Thanksgiving.

Clint reared back and threw a 70-year pass to a wide-open Drew Pearson. He was so wide open because no one thought the Mad Bomber could throw 40 yards, let alone 70. The Touchdown changed the trajectory of the game and made for a hilarious and exciting Thanksgiving

Big D, a crazy Cowboy fan, jumped up in the air with his fist raised high and inadvertently smashed our Longhorn lamp hanging from the ceiling. This sent glass shattering and the Longhorn horns (yes, like Bevo) attached to the light crashing to the ground.

Of course, this promptly woke my Uncle John from his turkey-induced sleep and scared him so much that my Aunt Marie had to take him home. Next, my Dad grabbed me and lifted me in the air as we jumped up and down victoriously. What a memory! 

Exercise to Burn and Earn

One of my annual traditions for Thanksgiving is to work out before the Thanksgiving feast. In recent years, this has been doing the Peloton turkey burn ride that occurs about this year at 9:00 central on Peloton. In prior years, I have done similar things, but like the Cedar Park Turkey trot, the critical thing is to burn and earn the calories you will eat later. Now I’m the way Adam Sandler, but I decided to make a song about just this point, and it’s called Turkey Burn. I’m going to sing it to you here now, but I’ve also included a link to our podcast where you can hear this song performed live with all the lyrics, so here goes nothing;

Turkey burn, turkey burn,
All those calories you need to earn,

Ride your bike for about an hour,
Then hurry up and take a shower,
So you cleaned up and look like a winner,
When you eat your Thanksgiving Dinner.

Turkey burn, turkey burn,
All those calories you need to earn,

When you’re done, you can take a brief rest,
Sit around awhile and talk to your guest,
Then, it is time to get back on your feet,
Take a nice walk, don’t eat another treat.

Turkey burn, turkey burn,
All those calories you need to earn.

Now it is time to help others out,
So you don’t look like a lazy lout,
Wash the dishes before the big game,
With these tips, you won’t be lame.
This Thanksgiving Day!

Track Before You Attack

The best way to lose weight is to track what you eat.  By consciously tracking your food intake, you will better understand portion control and the trigger foods you need to avoid. Engaging in battle, whether in war, a project, or, in this case, Thanksgiving dinner, without a plan, is asking for trouble (and extra pounds. The best thing to do is plan and track what you eat beforehand.

Now, I use Weight Watchers as my tracking mechanism, but you can use something else. The key is to track what you eat and understand your portions.

You can stick to your planned portion size by building a proportion plate.   You can take a paper plate and draw the size of your portions.  You can also use something like a Bento Box with built-in portion sizes.

The rule is always to figure out what you will have before sitting down to Thanksgiving Dinner.  Like a good soldier, never eat without a good plan of attack. This preparation gives you a sense of control and confidence in your choices.

Hydrate and Take the Edge Off Of Your Hunger

Another way to keep your weight down during Thanksgiving is to ensure you’re grazing before the meal. This sounds counterintuitive, but in reality, it makes much sense. If you’re filling up on vegetables and hydrating yourself with water (not high-octane things like alcohol), you’ll have less room for the turkey, the stuffing, the sweet potato pie, the marshmallows, and all the other stuff.

This is an old trick that I’ve done many times. It doesn’t mean you should graze on candy and pie before dinner. It means eating celery without the cream cheese, carrots, and other things, like a relish tray, that will ensure you’ve filled up now but not bloated before dinner. Therefore, you’ll have less room, and you’ll have better portion control.

Be Thankful and Give to Others

The last rule is to focus on thanks and giving instead of eating and the peculiarities of others.  By thinking about others going without, you will be inclined not to overindulge.  Better yet, find a way to serve others through organizations like Mobile Loaves and Fishes.  Here are a few other ways to give and give thanks. 

1.  Show appreciation to your family and friends who help you daily. No person is an Island, and our loved ones help us accomplish the mission God has given us!

2. Be thankful for your vocation. Your vocation gives you exciting, engaging work that, quite frankly, puts Thanksgiving dinner on the table (of course, sometimes it prevents you from eating it).

3. Express thanks for the inheritance you received from those who have led the way. Remember those who have passed, and be thankful for the memories.

4.  Help with the dishes and clean-up.  Others will be thankful for another way to burn calories.

For the ultimate blog on thankfulness and Thanksgiving, read this blog: The Power of Gratitude-The Story of the Thanksgiving Calves

A Poem of Thanksgiving

I want to close with a short poem I wrote for Thanksgiving week.

Better attributes you’ll never find,
Then those of being loving and kind!
Showing God’s smile day by day,
Lightening the load along the way.

In this week of thanks and heart,
All of us must do our part,
To spread good thoughts everywhere,
To show all you really care!

The Power of Gratitude-The Story of the Thanksgiving Calves

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Before starting this blog, I would like all my followers to know I have launched a company called Wellness Leadership LLC. If you enjoyed my blogs on this site, please check out, https://wellnessldr.com/ for our service offerings. Also, check out our new podcast, Change Well, available on Spotify, Apple Podcast, and YouTube. More information is available on Podcast

Numerous studies describe the benefits of practicing thankfulness.  One such study in the Harvard Health Review found that keeping a gratitude journal increased happiness.  Two psychologists, Dr. Robert A. Emmons of the University of California, Davis, and Dr. Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami, have researched gratitude. In one study, they asked all participants to write a few sentences each week, focusing on topics.

One group wrote about things they were grateful for that had occurred during the week. A second group wrote about daily irritations or things that had displeased them, and the third wrote about events that had affected them (with no emphasis on them being positive or negative). After ten weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic and felt better about their lives. Surprisingly, they also exercised more and had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on sources of aggravation.

I found this to be true in my daily life.  I have kept a gratitude journal over the last seven years.  In addition, I use an app on my phone called HappyFeed to record moments of gratefulness throughout the day.  But one pivotal event in my life will forever cement the power of Thanksgiving.

The event was one of the happiest and saddest in my life. I learned many leadership lessons from my dad -Big D. This story is the last one I learned from Big D and one that I will never forget. It is about the power of being thankful – the ultimate game changer. So, without further to-do, here is the story of the Thanksgiving Calves.

Big D and my mom moved to “The Land” in the late 90s when my Dad retired from Turbocare in Houston. The Land was 30 to 50 acres (depending on how pumped up Dad was feeling that day) in a little town called Slocum in East Texas (population 250). On The Land were a lake (built by my Dad and mom), trees (sycamore, sweet gum), acres of Coastal Grass, and ten extremely overweight cows.

The cows were overweight because my Dad treated them like pets and allowed his grandchildren to feed them early and often. Each cow had a name – Rosie, Susie, Big.

Bertha, etc. – and each was given to a grandchild for a portion of their inheritance.

Dad used to point to a cow and say something like this:

Big D – You see Rosie over there.

Kerri – Yes, that’s my cow! She likes to eat this feed.

Big D – Well, Rosie will have a cow, and that cow will have another cow, which will be for you.

Kerri – Yeah, Grandpop. I love cows.

In the summer of 2002, each of those cows was ready to make the first deposit on the grandchildren’s inheritance. Each was pregnant and set to deliver sometime in November. Unfortunately, Big D was not to see it from here on earth. On November 5, 2002, Big D passed away from a heart attack out near the fence where we would feed the cows. This is the sad part of the story.

Now let’s turn to the story’s happy part and moral. My entire family and I went to The Land for one last Thanksgiving to be with Mom. As we arrived, some light snow had fallen. As we rounded the bend to The Land, we saw two calves just born and starting to walk. The rest of that day and into Thanksgiving Day, nine of the ten calves were born. The only issue was Rosie and her calf belonging to Kerri.

Rosie got extra feed from Kerri and Big D. This was on top of the prodigious coastal grass. Rosie was having trouble birthing her calves. One hour before Thanksgiving dinner, the issue had reached a crisis.

Rosie was mooing loudly and was running around with her half-born calf. Jim from the next farm over had come by to wish us well. He immediately assessed the issue and told my brother and me we had to take Rosie to the vet. Jim went and got his truck and trailer. He also brought our other neighbor, John, another admirer of my dad, and we started to try to corral Rosie into her pen so we could load her into the trailer.

So for the next hour and a half, while the turkey was getting cold, we went up and down The Land, trying to get Rosie into her pen. After many fits and starts (a cow in birth distress is fast and scared), we finally got Rosie behind the plywood gate that passed as our pen.

The next step was filled with hilarity and near tragedy. Before anyone could stop him, my brother Gary got this great idea that he could rope Rosie. Doing his best rendition of John Wayne, he made a makeshift lasso and threw it at her. It did not land correctly but did serve to spook Rosie yet again. I was just outside the pen when the 500-pound cow broke through the plywood gate and straight at me! Let’s say that I moved faster than ever before or since jumping away and landing face down in the mud. Rosie just barely missed me.

Although that last action nearly killed me, it finally tired Rosie out. At 7:00 PM, we finally got Rosie in the trailer. John returned to what was left of his Thanksgiving Dinner after my brother, and I profusely thanked him. Then, Jim and I went to see the vet on call 3o miles away.

On the way to the vet, I secretly prayed that the calf would be all right. Repeatedly, I thought, “Please let the calf be alright,” while Jim and I told stories about Big D and how he would have dealt with Rosie and the calf. I knew he was up there somewhere smiling. We finally got to the vet at about 7:40.

Now, what comes next is fantastic. I had never seen a calf being born; it was a tremendous sight. The vet wrapped a rope around the half-born calf and pulled it. After a few moments that seemed like an eternity, the calf was born – Rosie, Jr. After lying on the ground for a few moments, the calf made its first few steps and was alive. Rosie, although in rough shape at the time, fully recovered.

And at that moment, despite missing Thanksgiving Dinner, I was never more thankful. I was grateful for the gift of the cows from my Dad. I was thankful for the timing and happiness that the calves’ birth gave me and my family. I was grateful for Jim and John, who gave up most of their Thanksgiving to get Rosie to the vet. I was thankful for the gift of new life facilitated by the vet.

Whenever I feel let down or frustrated, I think back to the story of the Thanksgiving calves. And that is a Game Changer. Counting your blessings can change your attitude to one of positivity. It can lift you out of the despair of failure and toward the hope of tomorrow. Here are some thoughts on how to practice an attitude of gratitude.

1. Like Jim and John, who helped to catch Rosie, show appreciation to your family and friends who help you daily. No person is an Island, and our loved ones help us accomplish the mission God has given us!

2. Be thankful for your vocation. Your vocation gives you exciting, engaging work that, quite frankly, puts Thanksgiving dinner on the table (of course, sometimes it prevents you from eating it).

3. Express thanks for the inheritance that was given to you from those who have led the way. Like the Thanksgiving calves that were the inheritance given to my kids from Big D, we all need to remember the people who helped us along the way.

In closing, I would like to share a poem with all of you for this Thanksgiving.

Better attributes you’ll never find,
Then those of being loving and kind!
Showing God’s smile day by day,
Lightening the load along the way.

In this week of thanks and heart,
All of us must do our part,
To spread joy and happiness everywhere,
And to show those around you that you care!

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Return: Have A Vision As Big As Texas

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We are approaching Thanksgiving.  This year, 19 years since my Dad’s passing, I will be thankful for the lessons that I learned from him. 

I wrote about two of those lessons in previous blogs linked here. Getting the Iron Out Door – Lessons from Big D for Developers, Life’s Game Changers – The Power of Thanksgiving The second blog is about the day of his passing and the miracle of the Thanksgiving cows.  This October for the first time in 19 years, I returned to the Land described in the blog where I thought the last lesson from my Dad occurred.  But another lesson, equally as important was waiting to be discovered this year!

As discussed in the previous blog, my Mom and Dad left Houston for the Land in the late 90’s.   It was out in the middle of nowhere in East Texas.  I never kept the hand-written directions.  So, I did not know how to get to it anymore, since it was before the time of Google maps and I did not have the street address.  Until on a whim while on vacation in Tyler, TX, I found the new street address on-line!  I now had the location and was close enough (still an hour away!) to drive to the Land on the way back home.

The land and the house that my Dad built looked much the same.  I was a bit amazed at how well the metal house has stood the test of time for 20 years.  The only thing missing were the cows.  I walked around a bit and again thought about that amazing, last Thanksgiving when 10 new calves were born.  Getting up to leave, I glimpsed the lake that he dug with an old rusty backhoe. And with that I left for home with what I thought was the last lesson still in my mind’s eye.  Except it was not the last one!

I remember the first time my Dad started building the lake.  He had just got the backhoe and had begun scraping out a ditch.  He took my brother and I out there.  Then pointing to a muddy gouge with a few puddles, he said  proudly, “Look at my lake!”.  My brother and I started laughing.  Dad said, “Why are you laughing?”.  My bother pointed out, “Dad, when you say lake it connotates images of water!  This is not a lake. It is a puddle.”  Dad just shook his head, climbed in his backhoe and said, “You will you see smart alecks”. 

And we saw.  A year or two later there was full-fledged lake.  The next year there were fish in the lake and a dock.  But Dad kept tweaking the lake up to the day he died.  We wondered why he did this, since he proved his point and given us our initial lesson.   Having returned to the land and now with the direct coordinates in hand,  we were about to find out.

The Land and the Texas Lake

I sent my daughter the coordinates just before leaving from home. She fed the coordinates into Google Earth while we were driving back. The resulting aerial picture of the land and the lake floored me. The picture is above. The lake is more than a fair replica of the State of Texas! The lake was dug before satellite imagery or drones were available. My Dad through persistent sweat, determination, and will made a lake in the shape of the state he loved! He also left us several final lessons from the grave that are applicable for everyday life.

1. Plan with the end in mind.  We did not know it until many years later, but my Dad had an ultimate vision for the lake.  With each tweak and every plough, he was turning a mud puddle into a lake in the shape of Texas.  The lesson for all of us is always start something with the end in mind.  A clear vision gives you a clear direction and keeps you on course even when the going gets tough.   

2.  Don’t get discouraged.  My Dad did not get discouraged even when his two oldest sons mocked his first efforts.  There will be trials along way.  Some rain must fall when building a lake.  But drive on through the rain and stick to the plan. 

3.  Strive to the end.  The weeks before my Dad passed away, he was still making tweaks to his lake to make it further resemble Texas.   He was striving for excellence up to end.  This is a lesson for us in our work.  It is important that when we achieve some success not to stop.  For the excellence of today is the mediocrity of tomorrow. Finish the race.  Keep striving to the end to make your goal a reality!

4.  Try and Try again.  I will perhaps never know how Dad shaped the lake into the outline of the Texas!  He did not have satellite imagery to guide him.  But what he did have was a vision, determination, and the willingness to try and try again.  He ploughed and experimented until he got the lines right.  Sometimes a wrong turn threated to turn his Texas lake into one of Oklahoma!  But he shifted his backhoe, back filled the wrong cut and soon he was on the right side of the Red River! 

Happy Thanksgiving from the Land with one last message from Big D, communicated almost 20 years from his passing from this life to the next.  I know he is up there in the heaven smiling down on a little ranch in Slocum, TX and a lake in the shape of Texas that started as little less than a mud puddle.  May we all strive to the fulfill a vision as big as Texas!

3 out of 5 Ain’t Bad – What to Do When Eating Out!

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It’s 3 days after Thanksgiving, and you are tired of turkey and leftovers.  So, you decide to go out and eat or order on UberEATS.  What do you do to stop adding to the pounds?  Here are 5 proven methods to stop from overeating when eating or ordering out!

1. Track before you attack.  The first rule is always to figure out what you will have before departing.  Most restaurants now post nutritional values in menus on their website.  Read the menu, pick your menu items, and record the calories before departing.  Like a good soldier, never eat without a good plan of attack.

2.  Bring it to Boots! Portion control is the key to keeping your weight down and your friends happy.  In my case, my friend is a bear/dog named Boots shown below.

I always think of my buddy Boots when craving a big steak.  I then make a conscious choice.  I eat 5 oz. instead of 10 oz of a Porterhouse, cutting my calories in half and making my dog leap in delight!  This trick also works with humans, but it is more fun with dogs. Half your plate and make your friend feel great!

3.  Stop the cravings at the Concierge.  Rule 3 works best when traveling, but is easily modified during the current pandemic.  I had access to a concierge lounge back in BP (Before Pandemic) time, when I was traveling a lot for work.  I would hit the concierge lounge and load up on vegetables before going to a restaurant for dinner.  Many times, I would skip dinner and just eat in the concierge lounge.  I lost over 100 pounds following this trick.  I swear by it!  The approach still applies even with limited or no travel.  Eat some vegetables or small appetizers at home before ordering or eating out.  Fill up on veggies, instead of filling out on steak and burgers!

4. Eat like a Plebe.  The faster you eat the more you repeat (think Buffet).  When I eat out, I go back to my training and eat like a Plebe!  We learned to eat slow at West Pont, by squaring our meals, so we would not wolf down food. 

Here is how you square a meal.  You lift your fork straight, bend your fork at a 90 degree to your mouth, straighten your arm back out, and then bring you fork completely down.  You do not bring your fork back up until you completely chewed your food.  On top of this, you needed to take small bites to be able to recite knowledge to senior cadets without your mouth full.  All served to slow how fast we ate, and cut down on our food intake, while practicing good manners.  35 years later, I still eat like a Plebe.

5.  3 out of 5 Ain’t Bad.  I cannot claim this last rule, since I learned it from a colleague.   Every meal at a restaurant usually includes 5 options:  bread, appetizer, entrée, dessert, and alcohol.  The simple rule is to keep it to three!.  Either Bread, Drink and an Entrée or some other combination.  Remember scrap 2 and keep 3!  While I can’t claim this idea, I can confirm it works and claim the below song parody to emphasize.  Make like Meatloaf and remember. 

I want you,

But I don’t need you,

And there ain’t no way I am ever going to eat you,

Now don’t be sad,

Because 3 out of 5 ain’t bad!

Three Out of Five Ain’t Bad