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7 Essential Books for Wellness and Personal Growth

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My Wellness blog today is a little bit different. I will discuss the importance of reading, writing, and arithmetic in keeping healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Reading

I am and have always been a voracious reader. I read everything from science fiction to poetry, historical fiction, wellness books, and the latest David Baldacci book. Reading has been key to my Wellness journey for two reasons.

First, audiobooks have helped entertain me as I worked out. It is called learning while burning.  I walked 10 miles while listening to Malcolm Gladwell’s Talking to Strangers. I was so enthralled with the book while learning to talk to unfamiliar groups that I didn’t mind the Texas heat.   The book improved my civility as I sweated off the pounds.

But I do not always listen to audiobooks. Sometimes, to retain more information, I relax and read a written book. This helps bring about wellness in a different way. In this case, I read for retention and relaxation. Some spiritual books even help me with the practice of mindfulness and prayer.

“Waiting on the Word” by Malcolm Guite is one book I am reading now. If you do not know Malcolm, I highly recommend him. He is an Anglican priest, poet, commentator, songwriter, and singer in a rock’n’roll band. Here is his blog page.

Waitning on the Word by Malcolm Guite helps my wellness
Waiting on the Word Malcolm Guite

“Waiting on the Word” is a series of poems with associated commentary and reflection for Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany. I am reading this Advent, which has helped me with my prayer life.

Seven Books for Wellness

I also read books to inform myself on different aspects of wellness. Here are seven books I’ve read in the last few years to help me grow in this area.

1. Bill Bryson’s “The Body” is essential for anybody trying to heal their body and improve their overall health. The book is excellent. It gives insight into the human body, from the brain down to the toes and everything in between.

2.  “From Strength to Strength” by Arthur C Brooks is perfect for those who are getting older and want to figure out their next mission. It talks about how you use the fluid intelligence of your earlier years differently as it becomes more crystallized into wisdom.

3.  “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown discusses simplifying your life by breaking it down to the essentials. In this way, you relieve anxiety and do not become as focused on the minutiae of life.

4.  “Think Again” by Adam Grant talks about how you can constantly improve by changing your mind. The book provides the best techniques to change direction and discern where to go.

5.  “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg and “Atomic Habits” by James Clear are essential to understanding how to use habits to improve yourself.

6. “Green Lights” by Matthew McConaughey is a surprising book about how Matthew accomplished his success in life by chasing the green lights instead of fretting about the stoplights.

7. “10% Happier” by Dan Harris gives insight into the simple tasks you can do day-to-day to feel more fulfilled and, in general, happier.

I could go on with many others. If you look at just my audiobooks, I’ve listened to over 250 books in the last five years.

What About Actual Reading

I read a lot less in physical form, but audiobooks are a good way to get an initial survey of a book that you may want to dive into deeper. And if you want to go on a long walk to lose weight, nothing beats “The Game of Thrones” in audiobook form while walking long distances.

Writing for Wellness

Enough about reading, so let’s move on to writing. Writing is excellent for wellness in three different ways.

Journaling can be an excellent way to relieve stress and anxiety while remembering what you are thankful for and the lessons you learned that day. I have kept a journal for the last 10 years and have somewhere along the lines of 40 fully completed journal books. The journaling book I am currently using is the Gratitude Journal, and I like it because it has both a day portion and an evening portion, so you can plan your day and see how you did during the day. It also provides a weekly challenge and a quote that inspires you daily.

A second form of writing that helps with wellness is blogging. It is helpful in several ways. First, it enables you to cement new ideas and concepts as you learn them. I find myself reading my older blogs to remember lessons I have learned and reinitiate those practices.

Second, it distracts you from the TV and other mind-numbing activities that don’t help you improve.

Lastly, it allows you to play it forward in part by sharing the lessons that you have learned so that others can succeed. I also find inspiration in writing, especially poetry. It takes my mind out of the day-to-day minutiae and lifts it to contemplate something larger than myself in my petty once it needs the hour.

Arithmetic and Wellness?

Most of you can determine why writing and reading are essential to wellness. But I may have questioned what arithmetic has to do with wellness.

I have not previously blogged about this, but I teach high school math part-time. I have found that preparing for my lessons has sharpened my mind and problem-solving abilities. Solving a math problem also gives you a sense of immediate satisfaction and accomplishment when you get it right. It also helps you exercise that most important muscle, the mind, as you struggle with an algebraic concept that you may have known forty years ago but had forgotten. It is also rewarding to pass on the love of math to another generation.

Your 8th Grade Teacher Was Right!

I also love studying the algorithms and math behind wellness applications such as WW and Noom.  Call me a geek,  but knowing how WW Smart points are calculated and how those calculations have changed over the years has made me more nutritionally aware.

So there you have it. Your 8th grade teacher was correct when they told you reading, writing, and arithmetic would make you a better person. So, grab a good book, write down your learning, and exercise your mind with math puzzles. I promise you you will improve and change well. You can hear this blog with some additional information on our Podcast Page.

Focus on Family, Not Food This Thanksgiving

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Family before Food this Thanksgiving to Keep on Track

Many people fear putting on a few pounds during the Thanksgiving Holiday.  The trick is to remove the focus on food and put it on family, friends, and fitness.  Here are five tips, a song, and a poem to make this a great, healthy Thanksgiving.

Think Friends and Family Before Food.

Change the focus of Thanksgiving from food to family and friends.  Thanksgiving is a time to catch up with people and tell them how much you love them.  Make memories instead of eating too many marshmallows with your sweet potato pie.  Indeed, you can’t eat if you’re talking with someone.  Focus on the fellowship, slow down, and eat more slowly.  It will allow your food to digest more. 

Here is a case in point. One of my most memorable Thanksgiving memories was the 1974 Dallas/Washington Football Game. We were sitting in our home in New Jersey after Thanksgiving Dinner. My Dad, Big D, a transplanted Texan from Dallas, was sitting in his easy chair distraught. I was pacing back and forth as I would do in a crucial game. In contrast, my great Uncle John, who recently turned 80, sat on the couch snoring after too much turkey.

My Dad and I were up in arms because the Cowboys were down 16-3 late in the third quarter, and Roger Staubach, the Hall of Fame Quarterback, was knocked out of the game. The Cowboys had to win the game to get in the playoffs. In walks the Cowboys’ untested rookie Clint Longley, who, from that date on, became known as the Mad Bomber.

He drove the Cowboys down the field twice and got them within 7 points with only 28 seconds remaining. But the Mad Bomber was not done. What happened next changed the course of the game and made for a memorable Thanksgiving.

Clint reared back and threw a 70-year pass to a wide-open Drew Pearson. He was so wide open because no one thought the Mad Bomber could throw 40 yards, let alone 70. The Touchdown changed the trajectory of the game and made for a hilarious and exciting Thanksgiving

Big D, a crazy Cowboy fan, jumped up in the air with his fist raised high and inadvertently smashed our Longhorn lamp hanging from the ceiling. This sent glass shattering and the Longhorn horns (yes, like Bevo) attached to the light crashing to the ground.

Of course, this promptly woke my Uncle John from his turkey-induced sleep and scared him so much that my Aunt Marie had to take him home. Next, my Dad grabbed me and lifted me in the air as we jumped up and down victoriously. What a memory! 

Exercise to Burn and Earn

One of my annual traditions for Thanksgiving is to work out before the Thanksgiving feast. In recent years, this has been doing the Peloton turkey burn ride that occurs about this year at 9:00 central on Peloton. In prior years, I have done similar things, but like the Cedar Park Turkey trot, the critical thing is to burn and earn the calories you will eat later. Now I’m the way Adam Sandler, but I decided to make a song about just this point, and it’s called Turkey Burn. I’m going to sing it to you here now, but I’ve also included a link to our podcast where you can hear this song performed live with all the lyrics, so here goes nothing;

Turkey burn, turkey burn,
All those calories you need to earn,

Ride your bike for about an hour,
Then hurry up and take a shower,
So you cleaned up and look like a winner,
When you eat your Thanksgiving Dinner.

Turkey burn, turkey burn,
All those calories you need to earn,

When you’re done, you can take a brief rest,
Sit around awhile and talk to your guest,
Then, it is time to get back on your feet,
Take a nice walk, don’t eat another treat.

Turkey burn, turkey burn,
All those calories you need to earn.

Now it is time to help others out,
So you don’t look like a lazy lout,
Wash the dishes before the big game,
With these tips, you won’t be lame.
This Thanksgiving Day!

Track Before You Attack

The best way to lose weight is to track what you eat.  By consciously tracking your food intake, you will better understand portion control and the trigger foods you need to avoid. Engaging in battle, whether in war, a project, or, in this case, Thanksgiving dinner, without a plan, is asking for trouble (and extra pounds. The best thing to do is plan and track what you eat beforehand.

Now, I use Weight Watchers as my tracking mechanism, but you can use something else. The key is to track what you eat and understand your portions.

You can stick to your planned portion size by building a proportion plate.   You can take a paper plate and draw the size of your portions.  You can also use something like a Bento Box with built-in portion sizes.

The rule is always to figure out what you will have before sitting down to Thanksgiving Dinner.  Like a good soldier, never eat without a good plan of attack. This preparation gives you a sense of control and confidence in your choices.

Hydrate and Take the Edge Off Of Your Hunger

Another way to keep your weight down during Thanksgiving is to ensure you’re grazing before the meal. This sounds counterintuitive, but in reality, it makes much sense. If you’re filling up on vegetables and hydrating yourself with water (not high-octane things like alcohol), you’ll have less room for the turkey, the stuffing, the sweet potato pie, the marshmallows, and all the other stuff.

This is an old trick that I’ve done many times. It doesn’t mean you should graze on candy and pie before dinner. It means eating celery without the cream cheese, carrots, and other things, like a relish tray, that will ensure you’ve filled up now but not bloated before dinner. Therefore, you’ll have less room, and you’ll have better portion control.

Be Thankful and Give to Others

The last rule is to focus on thanks and giving instead of eating and the peculiarities of others.  By thinking about others going without, you will be inclined not to overindulge.  Better yet, find a way to serve others through organizations like Mobile Loaves and Fishes.  Here are a few other ways to give and give thanks. 

1.  Show appreciation to your family and friends who help you daily. No person is an Island, and our loved ones help us accomplish the mission God has given us!

2. Be thankful for your vocation. Your vocation gives you exciting, engaging work that, quite frankly, puts Thanksgiving dinner on the table (of course, sometimes it prevents you from eating it).

3. Express thanks for the inheritance you received from those who have led the way. Remember those who have passed, and be thankful for the memories.

4.  Help with the dishes and clean-up.  Others will be thankful for another way to burn calories.

For the ultimate blog on thankfulness and Thanksgiving, read this blog: The Power of Gratitude-The Story of the Thanksgiving Calves

A Poem of Thanksgiving

I want to close with a short poem I wrote for Thanksgiving week.

Better attributes you’ll never find,
Then those of being loving and kind!
Showing God’s smile day by day,
Lightening the load along the way.

In this week of thanks and heart,
All of us must do our part,
To spread good thoughts everywhere,
To show all you really care!

5 Practical Ways to Foster Hope in Your Life and Workplace

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Hope is a force multiplier. It drives us to greater heights and impels us to persevere despite the obstacles in our way.  It is the ability to see the light through darkness and drive on through pain to the promise of a brighter future.

Academic studies demonstrate the positive impact of hope.  Carlos Laranjeira and Ana Querido, in an article published in the National Library of Medicine, quoted a large study that found that  “a greater sense of hope was associated with better physical health and health behavior outcomes (e.g., reduced risk of all-cause mortality, fewer chronic conditions, and fewer sleep problems), higher psychological wellbeing (e.g., increased positive affect, life satisfaction, and purpose in life), lower psychological distress, and better social wellbeing.”

Many fictional and real-life stories also show the incredible power of hope. Think of Nelson Mandela, Rocky Balboa,  Pope John Paul II, and JK Rowling, to name just four.  To a lesser extent, I have seen the power of hope in my own life.  Morbidly obese and pressing toward a work deadline that I thought might be out of reach, I was able to get back to my target weight and meet my project deadlines with the help of my friends and hope.

But hope is not easy, nor is it Pollyannish. Bishop Desmond Tutu got it right when he said, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”  It is not perpetual optimism, as some have said, but informed optimism that allows us to reflect on our mistakes and know that better days are coming, either in this life or the next.

How do you cultivate an environment of hope within yourself and the workplace?  Here are five ways to be optimistic in the face of adversity.

Learn from Your Mistakes Without Dwelling on them.

One of my favorite TV shows is Ted Lasso (yeah, Season 4 is coming!) due to its underlying message of hope. For those who have not seen it yet, Ted Lasso is a D2 American football coach who takes over an English soccer team and leads them to victory. No one gives him a chance, but his optimism and belief in his team and himself bring him a championship despite many obstacles.

One of my favorite episodes in the show is when the newest soccer player from Nigeria, Sam, gets burned by the team star, Jamie.  Ted tells Sam, after the play, that ‘he should be like a Goldfish, the happiest animal on earth because it has a ten-second memory.’  I cannot do the quote true justice, so here is a link to the top ten quotes from Ted Lasso.  The Goldfish is No. 1 on the video, so you can skip to the 15-minute mark (or listen to the other nine).

Hopeful people do need to be like goldfish when it comes to the pain of mistakes. You should not get overwhelmed by mistakes and hardship. However, I would dare to do Ted Lasso one better with the quote. I advise, “Be a Goldfish with the pain, be an Elephant with the Gain.” 

In every setback, there is a nugget of gold, a lesson that can propel you to your final goal.  Therefore, when you get knocked down, pick yourself up and forget the mistake, but like an elephant who never forgets, remember the lesson.  See the lesson as an opportunity to grow into the person you were meant to be.

Hope is about taking chances, learning from your mistakes, and not dwelling on them. NF rapped about Hope with one of the best definitions of the word. Here is a link to the song Hope, with compelling lyrics that drove me to my personal best on Peloton.

It’s a person who’ll take a chance on
Something they were told could never happen.
It’s a person that can see the bright side
Through the dark times when there ain’t one
It’s when someone who ain’t never had nothin’
Ain’t afraid to walk away from
More profit ’cause they’d rather do something
That they really love and take the pay cut – Excerpt from the Lyrics of Hope by NF (Nathan Feurestein)

Develop a vision board and visualize achieving it. 

One of the main components of hope is a vision of the future where you become the person you should be.  One way to give hope a nudge is to develop a vision board of what you will become.  Below is the vision board that I created when I was at my most unhealthy weight and disposition. 

For more information on developing a vision board and how to use it, please read my previous blog on the topic, which is located here.

Making a vision board is a start, but not enough.  You should wake up every morning to your why and visualize how you will achieve the best version of yourself through meditation and prayer.  A vision without visualization is an empty promise or a meandering dream.  Focus each morning on how you will make that vision happen and reflect each evening on what steps you made to make your vision happen, no matter the size.

Positively affirm yourself and others. 

You will inevitably have setbacks in becoming the best version of yourself.  During these times of setback, you need to affirm yourself.  One thing I do each day is write at least two “I am” affirmations in my Thankfulness Journal.  Here is one from yesterday when I struggled and did not finish this blog and podcast.  “I am an inventive and dynamic blogger and podcaster who helps others.”  It reminded me of the progress that I have made in writing and spurred me on to finish this blog and podcast today. 

Besides affirming yourself, you can help others by affirming their progress as they strive to become the best version of themselves.  Take time to write a handwritten note to a friend that you see making progress.  Or better yet, tell them over coffee or lunch.  We are all trying to make it through this complex and confusing world.  A few words of hope and encouragement help lighten the load and make you a better person.

Use Your Strengths and Understand Your Weaknesses. 

Hopeful people rely on their strengths while still understanding their weaknesses.  One of the best ways to understand your strengths is to take the Clifton Strengths Survey by Gallup.  Why take a survey? For two reasons.  First, we may think we know our strengths, but this scientific survey investigates 34 strength themes.  You may have a hidden strength you are not leveraging or a weakness you are discounting.    Second, when taken by team members, the survey can point out other people’s strengths that can counter your weaknesses and vice versa.   A seemingly impossible team task suddenly becomes possible when you pool the team’s unique talents. 

Hope Springs Eternal.

We move now to the spiritual aspect of hope. There is always room for hope, even if you get on in years like I am. Many people face hardships most of their lives only to go on to success later in life. A good example is Nelson Mandela, who was imprisoned much of his adult life only to become president of South Africa in 1994.

 The obstacle or sickness in your way may be the launch pad for success in this life or the next.  We may not always know why a hardship is set in our way.  However, we can look for the value in sacrifice, even if we do not see the reason for it on this earthly plane. 

To close, in his poem, “Essay of Man”, Alexander Pope writes,

“Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest.
The soul, uneasy, and confin’d from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.”

Let hope spring eternally in your life so you can become the person you were meant to be! 

Transition To Your Second Act and A Happier You

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I read many books each year. Most books give me a point or two on how to transition and improve, which I consider an excellent ROI for a 6 – 8-hour commitment. But I would consider very few books so life-changing that I would devote a blog or a podcast to them alone. 

One such book, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, is one I read ten years ago. As documented in my previous blog, The Return of Elvis: Seven Habits for Wellness, this book launched my wellness journey based on its insights into the habit cycle.   However, today’s blog is about a book I just read, which I hope will be as life-changing as Duhigg’s book was for me. The book is called From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life by Arthur C. Brooks.

The book contains insights; I need to write another book or at least a fifty-page summary to cover them all! So, I will stick to the five most important for me and briefly discuss how I apply them.

Fluid vs. Crystalized Intelligence. 

Citing Raymond Cattel’s work, Brooks discusses the two types of intelligence people have during their lifetimes. The first is fluid intelligence, “which Catrell defined as the ability to reason, think flexibly, and solve novel problems.”[i]  This type of intelligence tends to drive most innovation and begins to dissipate in most people in their thirties or early forties.  Examples are technology founders who tend to make their most significant innovations during their youth.  Another example is Albert Einstein and other Nobel Prize winners whose most extraordinary findings are in their youth.

 But for those of us past forty, don’t worry.  Fluid intelligence gives way to crystallized intelligence, “defined as the ability to use a stock of knowledge in the past.”[ii]   This type of intelligence grows in most of us for the rest of our lives.  I love Brooks’s metaphor in the book of an extensive library.  Finding the right book or quote to resolve a problem may take some time, but it is tucked away somewhere in the collected experience that we call wisdom.

People Need to Transition to Their Second Act.

The upshot of the two types of intelligence curves is that you should transition to a new direction in life earlier than most people do.  Many people whose fluid intelligence is waning stay in a role that values their fluid intelligence instead of switching to one that favors their ascending crystallized intelligence or wisdom. 

People stay on too long trying to recapture their glory days.  An example we can all understand is the Olympic athlete or football player (other than Tom Brady) who tries to stay on for one last season when they should have switched to coaching to impart their knowledge to another.  While few of us are athletes, most middle-aged people have experienced some decline in productivity in our initial field.  Hence, the term mid-life crisis.

Brooks uses the example of J.S. Bach, who executed the transition to his second act well.  J.S. Bach was a musical innovator, but when the style of music changed,  he transitioned to teacher and supporter of his children’s careers.  He is now remembered for the composition The Art of Fugue, which he wrote during his second act when others seemingly surpassed him.  Like J.S. Bach, we would be better served and happier by pursuing activities such as coaching and teaching that use crystallized intelligence.  Those who jump to their “second curve “earlier have happier and more rewarding lives.

Why Do We Wait to Transition? Success Addiction.

So why do people take so long to transition to their second act and ride the curve of crystalized knowledge to happiness and achievement of a different kind?  Brooks points out in his third chapter that success addiction causes us to hang on even when we are missing a step.  He illustrates the problem in the following paragraph related to one of his friends.

“We know in our hearts that the objectification of others is wrong and immoral. But it is easy to forget that we can do it to ourselves as well. My financier friend had objectified herself to be special, with a self-definition that revolved around work, achievement, worldly rewards, and pride. Even though that object was slowly eroding, she was too attached to her worldly success to make [iii]the changes that could now bring her happiness.”[iv]

I can relate to Brooks’s friend.  I have foregone vacations, time with family, and cultivating friends because I did not want my work colleagues to think I was slacking.  Also, our literature is rife with examples of people who pursued work success over family and friends.  The most poignant example is Willie Loman in The Death of a Salesman,  who committed suicide after losing his job when he continued his work as a traveling salesman.  He could not jump to his second curve.

Chip Away to A New You.

So, how do you get off the success wheel and transition to the next curve?  The best way is not to jump all at once but start chipping away at your first act and sculpting your second act.  Brooks gives good advice in this area in his book.

 One is to focus on your core work and forego taking on tasks that may get you some material success but take you away from family and friends.  A further recommendation is to cultivate your Aspen Grove.  Each Aspen tree is large but has a very shallow individual root system.  Instead, an Aspen Grove “is the largest living organism in the world” since the roots of individual trees in the grove are interconnected.  Brooks explains this metaphor:

“We may look solitary, but we form a vast root system of families, friends, communities, nations, and indeed the entire world. The inevitable changes in my life-and yours aren’t a tragedy to regret. They are just changes to one interconnected member of the human family-one shoot from the root system. The secret to bearing my decline-no, enjoying it-is to be more conscious of the roots linking me to others.         If I am connected to others, in love, my increase will be more than offset by the increase to others…”[v]

I followed this advice before reading the book.  I began chipping away at the old me and moved on to my second curve.  At the time, I was working at my full-time job, but I knew I had to start making the shift to my second act. So, like any good blogger, I made an acronym for my second act.   The abbreviation CRAFT represents my aspirations as a coach, religious, author, friend, and teacher.  I am happy to say I am well on the way to all pursuits. 

I started coaching my team more in my old role.  Now, in retirement, I have started a coaching business.  I also maintained a daily spiritual practice and became involved in several religious ministries.  I began two blogs and am now working on a non-fiction and poetry book.  I have become more intentional about cultivating friendships.  Lastly, I am teaching math and religion classes.  These activities cannot replace my former work regarding material success, but they more than makeup for it in terms of happiness, purpose, and success. 

What Does The New You Look Like?

Brooks closes with seven words that he strives to follow in his second curve:

Use things.

Love people.

Worship the Divine.[vi]

These words ring true to me.  As you get closer to the end, things should have a declining grip on your life.  I will not regret getting the latest gadget, but I will regret if I do not reconcile with a friend or tell your family that you love them.  Also, my Divine may differ from yours, but those who look beyond themselves have more happiness and peace.   

I want to end with a poem that came to me while meditating on my first act and contemplating the second.  As we move to our second season, we should focus on the goodness of this world and forego the great. 

Be good, not great,

For the time is late,

And we have but a day,

To show the way!

Seek kindness, not power,

Make Love a Tower,

Your heart the leaven,

To seek out heaven.

Take time, don’t wait,

For eternity is our fate,

If we do what is asked,

And complete our task.

Seek peace, not fame,

As your temptations you tame,

For the time is late!

Be good, not great.

[i] Brooks, Arthur C. (2022). From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life (1st Edition). New York: Portfolio/Penguin. p. 26.

[ii] Brooks, Arthur C. (2022). From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life (1st Edition). New York: Portfolio/Penguin. p. 27

 

[iv] Brooks, Arthur C. (2022). From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life (1st Edition). New York: Portfolio/Penguin. p. 45

[v] Brooks, Arthur C. (2022). From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life (1st Edition). New York: Portfolio/Penguin. p. 113

[vi] Brooks, Arthur C. (2022). From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life (1st Edition). New York: Portfolio/Penguin. p. 215