The world has become increasingly full of people with grievances. People complain about politicians, their neighbors, or the lack of forth in their Latte. These grievances have been amplified through social media. Sure, there are actual injustices in this world and room for righteous anger. But when your life becomes one long list of grievances, all you get is grief! That was not the case with Carlo Acutis.
Inspiring people to disregard the petty slights and injustices of the world to focus and amplify moments of joy. They overcome adversity to show the way to a better life. They use the tools that so often sow discord to show us a better way. One such person was Carlo Acutis, who will be canonized as a Saint on September 7, 2025.
Carlos Acutis is the first millennial Catholic Saint. He passed from this earthly realm on 12 October 2006, from leukemia at the age of 17. He recognized the emerging power of the internet and social media and chose to utilize it to proclaim the goodness and glory of God. One of Carlo’s sayings was “we are all likely to fall short because as soon as someone says something we don’t like, we instantly grow angry”. However, unlike many of us (including myself), he did not utilize his social media skills to amplify his grievances. Instead, he used his skill to develop a media site that showcases the power of Eucharistic miracles to transform his life and that of others. His website and media presentation are now displayed on five continents and have been shown in over a thousand parishes and more than a hundred universities. Instead of influencing others to buy the latest gadget or gift, he influences others to a better life and to God.
His real life mirrored his virtual life. Although his family was wealthy, he did not spend the money on the latest game. Instead, he would use his allowance to buy food and sleeping bags for people experiencing homelessness. Instead of endless scrolling and posting for likes, he spent his time striving to bring others to what truly matters – being kind and loving God.
His final acts are the most important for our time. He did not post about his suffering as he was dying. He instead said, “There are a lot of people suffering a lot more than me. “ He was always focused on what is above and beyond, instead of what is here and before. He offered his suffering and kept a joyful face till the end.
Hope is a force multiplier. It drives us to greater heights and impels us to persevere despite the obstacles in our way. It is the ability to see the light through darkness and drive on through pain to the promise of a brighter future.
Academic studies demonstrate the positive impact of hope. Carlos Laranjeira and Ana Querido, in an article published in the National Library of Medicine, quoted a large study that found that “a greater sense of hope was associated with better physical health and health behavior outcomes (e.g., reduced risk of all-cause mortality, fewer chronic conditions, and fewer sleep problems), higher psychological wellbeing (e.g., increased positive affect, life satisfaction, and purpose in life), lower psychological distress, and better social wellbeing.”
Many fictional and real-life stories also show the incredible power of hope. Think of Nelson Mandela, Rocky Balboa, Pope John Paul II, and JK Rowling, to name just four. To a lesser extent, I have seen the power of hope in my own life. Morbidly obese and pressing toward a work deadline that I thought might be out of reach, I was able to get back to my target weight and meet my project deadlines with the help of my friends and hope.
But hope is not easy, nor is it Pollyannish. Bishop Desmond Tutu got it right when he said, “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” It is not perpetual optimism, as some have said, but informed optimism that allows us to reflect on our mistakes and know that better days are coming, either in this life or the next.
How do you cultivate an environment of hope within yourself and the workplace? Here are five ways to be optimistic in the face of adversity.
Learn from Your Mistakes Without Dwelling on them.
One of my favorite TV shows is Ted Lasso (yeah, Season 4 is coming!) due to its underlying message of hope. For those who have not seen it yet, Ted Lasso is a D2 American football coach who takes over an English soccer team and leads them to victory. No one gives him a chance, but his optimism and belief in his team and himself bring him a championship despite many obstacles.
One of my favorite episodes in the show is when the newest soccer player from Nigeria, Sam, gets burned by the team star, Jamie. Ted tells Sam, after the play, that ‘he should be like a Goldfish, the happiest animal on earth because it has a ten-second memory.’ I cannot do the quote true justice, so here is a link to the top ten quotes from Ted Lasso. The Goldfish is No. 1 on the video, so you can skip to the 15-minute mark (or listen to the other nine).
Hopeful people do need to be like goldfish when it comes to the pain of mistakes. You should not get overwhelmed by mistakes and hardship. However, I would dare to do Ted Lasso one better with the quote. I advise, “Be a Goldfish with the pain, be an Elephant with the Gain.”
In every setback, there is a nugget of gold, a lesson that can propel you to your final goal. Therefore, when you get knocked down, pick yourself up and forget the mistake, but like an elephant who never forgets, remember the lesson. See the lesson as an opportunity to grow into the person you were meant to be.
Hope is about taking chances, learning from your mistakes, and not dwelling on them. NF rapped about Hope with one of the best definitions of the word. Here is a link to the song Hope, with compelling lyrics that drove me to my personal best on Peloton.
It’s a person who’ll take a chance on Something they were told could never happen. It’s a person that can see the bright side Through the dark times when there ain’t one It’s when someone who ain’t never had nothin’ Ain’t afraid to walk away from More profit ’cause they’d rather do something That they really love and take the pay cut – Excerpt from the Lyrics of Hope by NF (Nathan Feurestein)
Develop a vision board and visualize achieving it.
One of the main components of hope is a vision of the future where you become the person you should be. One way to give hope a nudge is to develop a vision board of what you will become. Below is the vision board that I created when I was at my most unhealthy weight and disposition.
For more information on developing a vision board and how to use it, please read my previous blog on the topic, which is located here.
Making a vision board is a start, but not enough. You should wake up every morning to your why and visualize how you will achieve the best version of yourself through meditation and prayer. A vision without visualization is an empty promise or a meandering dream. Focus each morning on how you will make that vision happen and reflect each evening on what steps you made to make your vision happen, no matter the size.
Positively affirm yourself and others.
You will inevitably have setbacks in becoming the best version of yourself. During these times of setback, you need to affirm yourself. One thing I do each day is write at least two “I am” affirmations in my Thankfulness Journal. Here is one from yesterday when I struggled and did not finish this blog and podcast. “I am an inventive and dynamic blogger and podcaster who helps others.” It reminded me of the progress that I have made in writing and spurred me on to finish this blog and podcast today.
Besides affirming yourself, you can help others by affirming their progress as they strive to become the best version of themselves. Take time to write a handwritten note to a friend that you see making progress. Or better yet, tell them over coffee or lunch. We are all trying to make it through this complex and confusing world. A few words of hope and encouragement help lighten the load and make you a better person.
Use Your Strengths and Understand Your Weaknesses.
Hopeful people rely on their strengths while still understanding their weaknesses. One of the best ways to understand your strengths is to take the Clifton Strengths Survey by Gallup. Why take a survey? For two reasons. First, we may think we know our strengths, but this scientific survey investigates 34 strength themes. You may have a hidden strength you are not leveraging or a weakness you are discounting. Second, when taken by team members, the survey can point out other people’s strengths that can counter your weaknesses and vice versa. A seemingly impossible team task suddenly becomes possible when you pool the team’s unique talents.
Hope Springs Eternal.
We move now to the spiritual aspect of hope. There is always room for hope, even if you get on in years like I am. Many people face hardships most of their lives only to go on to success later in life. A good example is Nelson Mandela, who was imprisoned much of his adult life only to become president of South Africa in 1994.
The obstacle or sickness in your way may be the launch pad for success in this life or the next. We may not always know why a hardship is set in our way. However, we can look for the value in sacrifice, even if we do not see the reason for it on this earthly plane.
To close, in his poem, “Essay of Man”, Alexander Pope writes,
“Hope springs eternal in the human breast; Man never Is, but always To be blest. The soul, uneasy, and confin’d from home, Rests and expatiates in a life to come.”
Let hope spring eternally in your life so you can become the person you were meant to be!
One undeniable truth is that life is a roller coaster. The secret to a fulfilling life is to fail forward, learn from the lows, and keep moving onward. Hardship and mistakes are our greatest teachers. They are often the catalysts that push us out of our comfort zones and into growth. The most successful individuals have a common thread-they have made numerous mistakes on their journey to success. Take Thomas Edison, for instance. He encountered failure over 1,000 times before creating a working light bulb. He said, “I have not failed 10,000 times—I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways it will not work.”
I am not saying that everyone should fail 10,000 times before becoming successful! However, I have four approaches to turning a failure into a success.
1. Forget the pain, learn, and gain. Having a setback can be painful, costly, and humbling. No one sets out to fail or have a hardship. But the worst thing you can do when you have a failure is to wallow in it. Going repeatedly in your mind with regret about what went wrong is wasted emotional energy and gets you nowhere. Instead, take the time to understand where you went wrong dispassionately, document what you will do the next time, and make adjustments and changes to improve the next time. Remember that no one gets through this life without having a problem. You are a person born with a specific mission, and this setback may be the one that allows you to course correct to get on the right path. I believe that St. John Henry Newmann said it best with his Mission Prayer, which I call to mind when I have a setback.
“God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me, which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work. I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments. Therefore, I will trust Him. Whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about.” John Henry Newman
When you fail, don’t let your spirits sink. Press on to fulfill the mission set forth for you.
2. Proceed with Faith, Hope, and Charity. When you fall down, the best way to achieve your mission is to proceed with faith, hope, and, most importantly, charity. You can have faith that, bit by bit, with every setback and every triumph, you are progressing to your ultimate purpose. Also, hope will carry you through the dark periods. Think of Edison. Many filaments failed, but with each failure, he saw the glint of hope of that first electric light. But most of all, proceed with charity. It is sometimes easy to lash out at others when things go wrong. To blame others either for the circumstances or your mistake. Instead, try to look at every hardship as a blessing to grow. Even if a person did wish you ill, look for ways to turn the circumstance around.
3. They Can Knock You Down, But They Can Never Knock You Out. My first two suggestions came from things I have learned from my faith journey. But the saying they can knock you down, but they can never know you out, I learned from my favorite Peloton instructor, Kendall Toole. Kendall had to deal with mental wellness issues growing up. What helped her to get through her stress and anxiety was the love of her family. They reminded her that giving up is the only way to get knocked out. Life is going to give you some body blows. We must be persistent and determined to take the first hard steps to get off the mat. In my case, when I had taken a series of wrong steps on my wellness journey, I was literally knocked out, leaving my IT Delivery Center when I tripped and fell on the step at 3 AM in the morning. But I did not stay down. I crawled to the bumper of my car, lifted myself, and the next day changed direction. You can read more about that incident in my first two podcasts and blogs. And it is part of my podcast theme song. I was working 18-hour days, I slipped, and I fell. At that very moment, I knew I had to Change Well. Sometimes, we need to be knocked down to bounce back to better things.
4. Be Patient and Have a Plan. One thing to remember when digging yourself out of a ditch is that you will not climb out all in one day. The day after I took the tumble at the delivery center, I did not suddenly drop a hundred and seventy pounds overnight. I had to be patient, plan a path forward, and not jump at the first fad diet that happened my way. Take the time to do a retrospective to truly discern the root of your problem and then tackle the issue in small chunks. For some guidance, I again turn to another favorite prayer of mine, “The Litany of Patience.” Three of the prayer requests are:
1. Deliver me from rash judgment and haste …
2. From impulsive decision-making…
3. From the desire to act when I need to be still …
Change without a plan is nothing more than chaos. When you need to change course, take the time to be patient and plan your next move. Don’t let that check in your path turn into a checkmate. Take the time to change well.
This week’s Change Well podcast, Episode 26, is available on my company’s podcast page. It provides insights and practical tips on maintaining wellness, whether you are experiencing joy or sorrow, by reviewing ten rules for living. Written by Angelo Roncalli, better known as Pope John XXIII, the Decalogue for Living provides rules for living a good and kind life regardless of your current season.
The podcast also includes a recitation of this original poem that I wrote on the topic.
The seeds of consolation are nurtured, grown ans formed in soil of desolation, waiting for the appointed time, to spring forth to renew both body and soul.
We do not know the day or hour, when like the sun rising on a new day, our darkness will be pierced and hope renewed. Nor do we know if it will be in this life or the next.
But, we can have faith that it will come, hope that our hearts will be set afire, and charity to all, in the time of waiting.
