dogs

5 Powerful Ways to Increase Mental Health

Don Grier

The Benefits of Fellowship on Mental Health

Today, October 10, 2024 is World Mental Health Day.  Accordingly, our blog today focuses on the positive impact of fellowship and companionship on mental well-being and overall wellness. 

Numerous studies have shown the positive effects of companionship.  One study found that married people have a longer life expectancy than single people:  an average of 2.2 years for married men and 1.5 years for married women (Read Article from U.S. Medicare Health Outcome Survey (HOS)).  The longer life expectancy of happily married people is partly due to their mutual support.

Humans are inherently social animals. Friendship and group participation provides support, accountability, and meaning. But despite the positive impact of companionship, we are getting lonelier.

 A disturbing fact is that 15% of men have no close friends.   The same Western Oregon Study stated that the U.S. Men’s suicide rate is at its highest level ever at 14.3 men per 100,000.  We need to do something to stem this epidemic of loneliness.

But not all people are joiners.  For those less inclined to engage in groups, interacting with pets positively impacts well-being. These include decreased levels of cortisol, blood pressure, and loneliness.

One look at our daughter’s dog Beau, pictured below, waiting expectantly, shows why. Pets love us unconditionally if we treat them right.  They can serve as a sounding board and comfort as you face daily anxieties.  One look at Beau playing with his toy can brighten the darkest day.

dog waiting expectantly
#image_title

Why is companionship, whether it be human or pet, so critical to mental well-being?  Here are the five reasons for this and examples from my life.

Emotional Support and Encouragement 

One of the best reasons to join a group or form a friendship is to encourage one another.  Life alone is tough, and tackling hardships or an addiction is even more challenging.  Finding a friend or group to share mutual support can keep you on track when confronting an addiction or facing a medical or other type of obstacle. 

I could never have overcome my stressful eating habits without my friends at the Round Rock, Texas, WW group. For the last ten years, I have shared my successes and failures with a group of like-minded weight loss journeyers. Their encouragement and support during the ups and downs of my weight loss journey were instrumental to my getting healthy. I now love playing it forward, helping others improve their health in the group.

Sharing Ideas Improves Mental Health

Fellowship also helps us grow intellectually through the sharing of ideas.  I have grown in areas of interest by engaging with people interested in the same topic.  Two such groups were the Learning to Lead Book Club at my prior company and the two business networks I am currently a member of, BXN in Austin and 10X Vets.  

I established the Learning to Lead Book Club for those interested in improving their management and team-building abilities. Each month, the group read and discussed a book that improved their leadership abilities. The leader responsible for that month also wrote a blog on the group’s discussion. I am initiating a new free program hosted by Wellness Leadership, LLC. If interested, please sign up for the Learning to Lead Informational Session. 

The Business Exchange Network in Austin has several monthly sessions around Austin and its suburbs to bring business owners together to share ideas on running a business and referrals. 10X Vets does a similar thing for Veterans on a national level.  Both of them have helped me learn and move outside my comfort zone.

Sense of Belonging and Sharing Activities

We all crave belonging to a group and a higher purpose. A few weeks back, I blogged about a remarkable group supporting the mental well-being of returning veterans: Irreverent Warriors. During a day-long march and social event, this group brings together veterans to share stories and humor to lighten the load and support Veteran mental health. Don, the Change Well podcast host, will lead a similar team on a 6+ mile ruck march on Veterans Day in Temple, Texas.  If interested, sign up for Rucks on Main on our Event site.  

Employee resource groups (ERGs) are a good way for companies to establish a sense of belonging and share activities. Companies such as Accenture have an ERG program to accommodate their employees’ diverse interests.

Reduced Loneliness Improves Mental Health

Our opening statistics demonstrated that companionship with family, friends, and pets reduces loneliness. I gave a shout earlier to my granddog, Beau, but I would be remiss if I failed to mention our dog Boots.   

Boots’ impact on my and my wife’s well-being is well chronicled in previous blog posts.  Boots was by my side as we both got healthy, and he has been a stalwart companion to my wife and me when we are apart.  But there is one other area of mental health that Boots has assisted me with – patience.  Boots is getting up in dog years.  He is 16 or 114 years old in human years.  He is still spry in many ways, but he has improved my and my wife’s patience as we take him on slow, wandering walks. 

boots the dog

Accountability

One of the most essential things to mental well-being is being accountable for your actions and direction.  Well-intentioned groups and friends can hold you accountable as you strive to change well.  A weekly weigh-in holds us responsible for our weekly health goals in WW.  Another group that has been instrumental in helping me improve my prayer life is Exodus 90.  I will ever be grateful to my seven fellow Exodus 90 brothers for our weekly accountability

Five Rules of Wellness When It’s Just Spring

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In Just-

Spring   when the lame

middle-aged man

runs far and    wee!

And the ground-beneath

is puddle-painful

From too-much running too soon,

As the hobbled, middle-aged man

limps slow—ly far and wee!

The above is my take on e.e. cummings’ classic  “In Just Spring” https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47247/in-just after my first run in Spring. Everyone wants to get out and lose those 10 pounds of insulation gained during the Winter months. But before you go out and become the little lame woman or man, here are five rules to follow In Just Spring.

1. Take it Slow—Walking that extra mile or two is always tempting when the weather gets warm and the bluebonnets are out. That is precisely what my wife and our dog Boots attempted to do on the trails on Brushy Creek. Even stopping at a sandwich shop for a quick bite, we struggled to make it back to our car. We dragged our 70-lb., huffing Bernese Mountain dog the last few yards. We are still recovering!

The lesson learned is simple. Do not overdo it with the first flowers of Spring. In the winter, it is a struggle to get out and about (read how so in this blog: https://weightlossleadership.com/2018/12/09/baby-its-cold-outside-but-exercise-anyway/ ). Now that the weather is more conducive to exercise don’t try to catch up all in one day. Take your time to slowly build up your miles, so you, too, don’t become the little lame woman or man (or dog!).

2. Do the essential – A corollary to the first rule is to focus on the essential. In his book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, Greg Mckeown says that the key to success in health and life is to do “less but better”. When waking up after our winter fog, it is tempting to try everything at once to get fit. Understandably, we are excited to get swimsuits ready for the summer. So we take up the latest diet, try many fitness fads, and buy the newest exercise equipment from Amazon. But it is better to focus on the essentials. Track the food you eat diligently, get plenty of sleep, and focus on the now. Don’t do everything! Do the essential well to enjoy the Spring and the new you.

3. Stretch! – I know we all want to take off with the first hint of the Bluebonnets in Texas. But doing any exercise, even walking, without first stretching is a recipe for becoming the little lame middle-aged man or woman in my earlier poem. Take time to stretch even if you are similar to me and do not like stretching. And when you have the flexibility of the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz, such as myself, you need to lubricate the joints as you follow the Yellow Flowered Road.

4. Drink Water – The temperature rise during the day can sneak up on you, especially when you live in Texas. So it is important to bring your water bottle to avoid becoming dehydrated just as you are about to take a photo of that beautiful cardinal or frolicking bunny that happened on your path. Make sure you also scope out the bathroom situation ahead of time. I don’t know about you, but I avoid drinking water when I do not know where my next bathroom break is.

5. Be in the Moment – The flowers are in bloom, and the sun is out. It is time to focus on the now and enjoy the new life of Spring. One way to take it slow is to take in nature. Sit on a bench. Take a picture. Lie in the bluebonnets like Boots the dog! Clear your mind of anxiety and enjoy the blooming beauty all around you.

Dog in Bluebonnets

Follow these rules to avoid becoming the little lame, middle-aged woman or man. Spring into the season and a new you!

Updated: The Real Art of Racing in the Rain

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I am reposting this blog about my brother on his departure from this world and on to the next. I am so glad he got the opportunity to drive through the rain and find a new life and love. David was one of a kind. Miss you brother.

The other day I went to see “The Art of Racing in the Rain”.  At first, I was not sure why I wanted to see it.  I hate driving cars, especially in the rain.  Just ask anyone who has had the misfortune of driving with me.  I am also not overly fond of Dogs.  I despise being headbutted and sniffed by my daughter’s overly affectionate Pitbull or any dog not named Boots (he is OK). 

So why did I absolutely love this movie about a racing car driver, his family, and his Dog Enzo?  And why did I cry a river of tears when (spoiler alert) both the driver’s dog and his wife died?  A bit because I am the ultimate sap!  I punch my fist in the air when Mr. Smith saves the boy scout camp and weep at every Walton episode.  But this was something more.  Then I realized.  The movie reminded me of my Brother David, his love of cars,  his departed wife Debra, and their dogs – Alvin, Jasmine, Zooey.

Three dogs ready to race!

David has loved cars ever since he was a little kid.  One of the most memorable events of my childhood (and one that haunts my dreams) is when David, I, and Gary were waiting for my parents in the station wagon to go on a trip.  David all of 4 years old sat in the front seat. Suddenly, he switched into the driver’s seat, shifted the car in neutral and started steering the car like a crazy man.  My brother and I were helpless as the car backed down our sloped driveway.  We drifted down the hill across a major road (safely thank God) and ended up in the neighbor’s front yard across the street. My parents rushed out to get us and I will never forget the joy in David’s face or terror in the eyes of my brother and me! 

Terror was also in my eyes every time I drove with David.  He treats the Houston highway like the Daytona 500. My heart races as he passes cars, barely missing the bumper.  I in contrast drive like the future Grandpop I aspire to be.  He has translated his love for cars into a career as a truck driver.   He can drive the biggest rig with speed and precision.  He was a lot like Denny, the movie’s lead, except he drove trucks instead of cars.

Also, like Denny, David loves dogs.  In this, he is like his namesake, Uncle David.  Both love Dogs with a passion I cannot fathom.  Uncle David currently has 8 and David 4.  They bring them both joy and I never realized why.   The dogs yap and yip.  Not my cup of tea.  Until the movie showed me why – Dogs are more empathetic than people.  They can realize when you are hurting and give you just what you need to race through the rain and not crash into the wall of life.

In the movie, Enzo the dog helps Denny deal with the premature parting of his wife Eve.  Enzo realizes the signs of Eve’s impending death and helps Denny and Eve deal with her illness and eventual passing.  Eve is like my Sister-In-Law Debra who was afflicted with various neurological  and eventually led to her passing. Now that David has passed I feel the story even more. And a pray that it brings some solace to my new sister in law and my siblings.

Enzo kept Denny whole by driving with him as the rain pulsed down.  Likewise, David and Debra shared the latest antics of Alvin, Jasmine, Zooey, and Cuddles.  David would make Debra’s eyes twinkle with his imitation of the dog’s barking for Debra’s return.  The  dogs also helped my brother to be strong for his wife through unconditional love.    

In closing, there are two quotes from the book/movie that really resonate with me. This one is a quote from the movie.  “If a driver controls his own conditions, then the rain is only rain”.  David through his dog imitations and frequent Facebook posts worked to control the uncontrollable.  In so doing, my younger brother taught me a lesson of how to keep strong through the storm. 

The last quote is from the mind of Enzo the dog.   It is so poignant and meaningful I cannot do it justice.   It is even poignant today with the passing of David.

“I saw her soul leave her body as she exhaled, and then she had no more needs, no more reason; she was released from her body, and, being released, she continued her journey elsewhere, high in the firmament where soul material gathers and plays out all the dreams and joys of which we temporal beings can barely conceive, all the things that are beyond our comprehension, but even so, are not beyond our attainment if we choose…”

Tonight, before you go to bed be like Enzo, David, and the dogs.  Race on through the rain and love unconditionally.  Turn away from the wall and toward new life through love!

A Daughter, A Dog, and A Not So Old Man (Part 1 of 2 Part Series)

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Two recent events forced me to accept something that I have been putting off for two years.   I am now officially a “Senior”, and, as such, there are certain things I need to adjust.

The first event’s linkage to my advancing age is apparent.  My youngest of four children Kendall graduated from college recently.  She may not have been able to walk across the stage due to the current pandemic.  However, her name flashing across the scoreboard at Texas A&M’s Kyle field signified that my wife and I were officially empty nesters (Gig’em!)!  

Graduation Name - Kendall

The second event, our dog Boots’ reaction to the loud rainstorm in Austin last night may not be so apparent (more in Part 2 of this blog!) A Daughter, A Dog, and A Not So Old Man (Part 2 of 2).  But both conspired to make me finally accept my new season in life.

I did not embrace my age two years ago! When I turned 55, I staged a ritualistic burning of my AARP card application on YouTube (see video below).  

I was trying to show that I had no intention of slowing down in what I then thought was a humorous way.  It was not! The part not captured on the video could have caused me to miss my next birthday, but in hindsight was funnier.  The part I cut out is the AARP card caught fire rapidly and I had to drop it.  I asked for someone to give me some water to dash the flames.  Unfortunately, the pan with the water had been in the sink with some oil that had not been removed.  The pan lit up like a torch until someone gave me a lid to snuff it out.  Almost lit the house on fire!  Not good for my health and those around me (although that video would have gone viral!).  How did I finally embrace my age and adapt to stay fit?  Read the second part of the blog series on the event that was the final tipping point – Boot’s whimpering at the rain here link A Daughter, A Dog, and A Not So Old Man (Part 2 of 2)